By Adesuwa Ewoigbokhan
Valentine’s Day is a day of celebration of love and affections; a day when couples exchange gifts, cards with flirty messages, offering confectionery with erotic and romantic messages etc.
In today’s world, Valentine Day is associated with romance and sex as couples spend special time together. Quite a number of couples prefer to celebrate with a dinner or indulge in a luxurious hotel stay, enabling them to get away for a sizzling romance and sex.
The pressure is on as 14th of February looms on the calendar globally. Understandably, couples want to impress and so the frenzy becomes overwhelming. This is one day in the year where couples are encouraged to go out of their way to be extra romantic and sexy. These feelings should happen all the time and not just for one day out of the year.
On this day, so many atrocities are committed in the name of celebrated love, especially for those that are not married as hymen are broken and futures are made or marred. Men go all the way out to spoil their women, marriage proposals are made, shaky marriages are restored and some of these Women feel they have to pay back by giving the man whatever he wants. Sex seems like a big part of Valentine’s Day package. In most cases, it does seem as if Valentine’s Day has been reduced to a business transaction where gifts are given in exchange for sex.
The world today has made us believe that Valentine’s Day sex is a fantasy; and a day when we are all encouraged, almost commanded to assume that our spouse is going to be the perfect romantic and give us everything we want, sex inclusive.
For women, commercials on television tell you that your husband knows your favorite gifts, pushing you towards the inevitable conclusion that if your husband does not give you the perfect gift, he does not love or find you sexy.
Men have a similar experience. The commercials also give the impression that your wife is going to be inexplicably in the mood for sex on that day, that they will not only be ready to explore your wildest fantasies but also initiating them, being sex crazed spouses for one day, catering for your every desires. Thus if she does not turn into this sex crazed wife; it means she does not love you. .And under all of this is the undertone that, when everything is said and done, you are exchanging gifts for sex, and this is bad for spouses.
For some women, they feel their husbands are buying sex from them and they are obligated to fulfill this covert transaction or contract. For other wives, they expect gifts, flowers, expensive meals and if they do not get it they feel unloved and as a result not in the mood for sex, when ironically on any other day, this wouldn’t have been the expectation. Some men feel degraded that they need to somehow bribe their wives to have sex with them on this day; a day supposedly devoted to love. Husbands approach the day dreading that they have purchased the wrong gifts; said the wrong things; or will do something that will somehow make the ’deal’ go sour.
There is such a high expectation for sex on this day that if we do something to ruin that, we’d feel like we‘ve lost out on something that we know the rest of the world is getting: the best sex of the year, all because we did not buy the right gift, say the perfect words; pick out the right card or buy long enough roses.
In many marriages, this is a lose-lose situation or scenario. Even if the gift is perfect, the meal is flawless; conversation is flowing and the sex is exciting and well…orgasmic, what you have done is create this idea that only on Valentine’s Day is this possible and also expected. And you better not fail to reach this level of perfection next year or it will be a letdown. Valentine’s Day sex, sounds like a trap for married couples.
For teenagers, it is a time virginity is lost, un-wanted pregnancy is made and lives are changed. The society gives the impression that sex must end the day thereby mounting undue pressure on the female teenager. The male teenager on the other hand, is made to believe he must be extra romantic and caring on this day. With these; decisions are made and actions are carried out without the least care for the future. Most teenage pregnancies are as a result of Valentine’s Day sex and the inordinate need to please their partners.
To spice Valentine’s Day sex mood for couple, the wife has to get herself a new perfume, spray it on your neck, wrists, and knees to excite him every time he comes to you. Babes; let you hair down if it is long; if short, style it in a sexy way. Use sweet smelling hair spray when you are ready to go out and your man will definitely savor the sexy scent that surrounds you. Cook saucy homemade food but try not to get too full with a meal which might make you tired. Tiredness; wanting to watch television are some excuses that women come up with when they do not want to have sex on Valentine’s Day.
Staying indoors is one of the sexiest ways to spend the evening without crowd or annoying people at the next table if you were to eat out. While indoors, make a sexy playlist, light up candles and fix a cocktail to start the evening, start texting your spouse right away by sending a flirty, tantalizing message let him or her know you cannot wait for some hot red Valentine’s Day action. Think sexy, feel sexy and act sexy, remember the saying, ”sometimes less is more’’.
Married couples should do something out of the box that your spouse will never forget. Try and make it memorable by not doing your usual stuff; husbands spend some cash on your wives because they are worth it. For once, forget all those lengthy night talks, notice your wife’s vibes and if it happened that she is experiencing her menstrual period, do not get pissed off and spoil your special night, instead show her another kind of fun by taking her to a cinema to watch movie, or you can go for a long drive. Be bold and open to experiment with romantic vibes coming your way, be aggressive and open minded.
Be careful not to wear tight outfits that will be too difficult to take off that night or next morning because you can predict what will happen. Wives, wear lacy under wears that match your clothes. This will put you in the mood you want the night to go.
Do have fun and make memories you can both cherish for a life time.