By Adesuwa Ewoigbokhan
To be a sexually bold and confident woman is a choice you make. You won’t be genuinely in it if it is your spouse that is asking you to be. Knowing about your sexuality, helps you to have a better erotic life; but if you choose not to, do not allow someone talk you into it because they want it for you. One needs to have a realistic talk with oneself; about whether one is ready to be a bold, sensual woman. This type of woman can be very creative, exciting, enjoys making the initial move; sometimes terrifying and intimidating. So it can be said that, she not only enjoys her sexuality, but actively pursues erotic and sensual pleasures. She does not feel dependent on her man for the expression of her sexuality simply because she is confident of their relationship and also having the desire to understand sex skills, thus she goes out to seek information in order to give herself more self-esteem.
If you must know, women who think about sex are curious about sex; expressing themselves by the clothes they wear, rejecting traditional shaming leverages used by society to tame women’s sexual initiatives, giving the impression that such behaviour are the exclusive preserve of men and that sex is only for procreation.
The truth be said, being sexually bold and confident is not easy. You may be smart at your job, but it is a different ball game when it has to do with eroticism. For fear of rejection, many women become nervous and hold back in expressing their feelings and desires. The way out of this, is to look for what works for you and give it an extra push. For a woman to take the leap from timid, tamed, homely girl to a sex goddess is not easy. Tweaking a few things here and there in and out of bed is necessary.
It is very okay for a lady to have desires for love making, and to know it is okay to initiate sex. Her desires are equally as important as that of her spouse. She can take the first step by saying to her partner, ‘l feel horny tonight and want to feel good’.
The sexually bold woman is aware of what she likes and eager to share it with her man. She is creative when it comes to foreplay and the different sex positions to the point of having a conversation about it with her man.
A bold and confident sensual lady, takes delight in admiring her body, knowing very well she does not have a great body to enjoy erotic appeal but her bold sexuality make her accept her body as it is. She feels sexy about it during love making and enjoys dressing up to boost her ego as she is motivated to pamper and take good care of her body. Her not looking like a supermodel does not dull her libido because she values and knows the importance of a good eroticism. Even when not in the mood, she goes out of her way to put herself in that sexy frame of mind; she plans ahead what she will do while in the act, and makes it a priority.
She can say no when she feels what he is asking for is demeaning or dangerous because she knows that her sexuality is her personal gift that needs to be protected to keep herself emotionally healthy; though not afraid to try new things that could be fun. Also, she knows when to draw the line because the beauty of the sexual relationship does not rest mainly with her, but on both parties; that is the way they treat each other; maintain boundaries for positive feelings and emotions. All these good sexual experiences are the resultant effect of her being very much in control, relaxed, not being self-conscious, not being uptight, not wanting to score points and not being obsessed with rejection. She is opened up to a life of ‘success upon successes’ of hot sexual experiences.
On a final note sexual boldness and confidence is not about skill, it is about a mindset that knows that God made sex to be pleasurable for couples who are aware that it is good, have positive view about it, and are determined to take the love making experience to a great level if not there yet. It is what can be cultivated by learning more about eroticism and focusing on God’s intent towards erotic appeal. Look at it as a life time journey that does not blow sex out of perspective.