Depression can be likened to when a person is under an unceasing dark cloud. It can make you feel grumpy, tired and lack of interest in stuff you usually take pleasure in on a normal day. Depression can make you have uncharacteristically mortal mindset about yourself, others and your future.
This can also come from a place of derange of power. It can be a message from a loved one you care dearly about, loss of identity, loss of job/statue, loss of purpose or loss of health/ mobility.
If you are hurting in a relationship and feel inadequate or powerless, whether in general or because of a specific event that occurred, possibility are high that depression will creep into your emotional state.
The following are potential signs that indicate if you have slid into a dreary state. Rather than overlooking these red-hot flags, just give it a thought about what you can do differently to stop this mood from striking you down.
Being depressed can surface when you feel you are being dominated by the person you are associating with. Not all power differences breed depression. In any love affair between two mature persons, a shared power is healthier than a one up, one-down power inbalance.
When you feel criticized by your spouse: ‘’This dress does not fit your shape, you should not have bought it’’. Criticisms are put-downs, it is different from giving feedback. Feedback tells you in a gentle way that something you have been doing may become an issue, and this is usually done in the following manner starting with ‘’I’’ statement. ‘’I feel uncomfortable that other guys/ladies will find you sexy when you wear this particular dress’’ or “I am worried we may not have enough cash for other stuff”. By contrast, fault finding words and a judgmental tone of voice make criticism problematic.
If your spouse has bossy attitude and order you around as if you’re a kid, this is likely to trigger either irritation or depression because nobody likes being told what to do. It’s always good to ask so that the person is allowed to freely give yes or no reply.
Your mate is a domineering if he tries to control or have a say on how you can spend your money, the type of friends to keep, when you should visit your folks, how to spend your time, the best drink or food you should take etc. All these actions will definitely invite depression. Getting unnecessarily angry if things are not done his/her way, are indicators that your spouse focuses on controlling you than concentrating on himself.
Note that depression is a disorder of power. When that power of making personal decision or of contributing mutually is taken away from you, depression is imminent.
When your spouse is always the right one- There is actually no problem if one’s partner seems to be right, as long as he/she does not make it a regular habit. If being right means your spouse cannot admit to mistakes, that is a problem. And if he/she being right, means you are always wrong, you have to look out.
If it’s always his/her way or no other way, it becomes an issue. Listening to your partner talk in a loving, healthy relationship is cool. But if your voice does not count and is easily dismissed, you will be at peril for feeling powerless and depressed.
Your partner being depressed can be contagious, especially if you adopt his/her view, you will go down emotionally too. When a person is depressed he/she sees the world, including you through dark lens.
Being irritated is low intensity anger, as you know anger spreads toxic negative vibes which can include depression in the form of anger. For firsthand receiver of anger, the toxicity is even more.
Abusive partner-this can be expressed emotionally in a lover’s critical and controlling attitude; verbally with name calling or physical assault. All of these forms of abuses are repugnant in a relationship. Any form of putting you down can cause depression. Whereas, any form of appreciation adds to good feeling.
A spouse who is active in his/her role in the affairs of living and loving together is a joy to be with. By contrast, a spouse who does not execute his/her share of the duty is passively inciting. The annoyance or anger you will feel in response, signal that you are not getting a full partnership.
When two different people from different background and culture decide to join together in matrimony, their decisions have immense power, for better or for worse over the quality of their lives. This marital bliss can either bring them endless blessings, or can steer in disappointment, strife, anger and depression. Knowing how to handle problems in marriage is vital to sustaining both personal well-being and a positive union or else, chronic rage or its opposite, depression may emerge. Also, some couples try to cope with marital problems by drinking to relax, distancing and avoiding each other, or by venting their anger to get it off their chest.
Quite a number of couples are affected by depression. It can really help if you worked with someone who understands how depression can impact on a relationship. They can help you begin to unpick what’s happening so you can get a better grip of the situation, and how to address it.. The essence is to make you feel like everything is not hopeless, actually there are ways of managing this.
Having a strong and healthy relationship does have the potential to help manage with the symptoms of depression. It gives you a support network, people to talk to and loved ones that can be relied on when things get difficult. Conversely, proof has it that those in troubled unions are three times likely to experience depression as compared to those who are not. Unhappy or supportive relationships are a factor of depression. Some studies have found that over sixty percent of those with depression consider relationship problems to be the main cause of their illness.
When couples learn to engage together in a deliberate and effective, collaborative problem-solving approach when issues arise instead of getting into rows, depressive reactions become a thing of the past.
Depressive people are on the increase. it is a serious enough disorder to jeopardize one’s ability to function normally day to day. Do find out, if you’re just blue or if you might be clinically depressed.
GET IN TOUCH IF YOU WANT HELP WITH DEPRESSION.