Cheating in relationships is actually not something new, it has always been there from time in memorial. More than ever before, women are cheating for various reasons and this does not necessarily mean they are unhappy in their current affairs.
Women are beginning to cheat almost as much as their spouse. ‘’Men are still likely to cheat more than women’’ says Yanyi Djamba, director of the Auburn Montgomery Centre for Demographic Research, ‘’But the gender gap is closing.’’
A few number of these ladies have record of sexual abuse and depression, ceaselessly searching for happiness rather than working on how to find fulfillment in their present relationships. So the question is, what is happening in marriages to shift these numbers? What has changed about one man, one wife? Why are wives suddenly beginning to feel entitled to these kind of, disapproving behavior that used to be a male prerogative? We’ve watched motive and heard gossip about the generality of cheating husbands, screwing around with other ladies, while the emotionally neglected wives sob at home. But this has changed, it is the wives who are now unfaithful. These women cheat for emotional reasons, using falling in love or an intense connection as justification for their actions.
Often times, couples like to deceive themselves that extra marital affair does not exist. The sad truth is that it does happen, more common than anyone might think. Wives are almost just as likely to commit adultery as their significant half.
Though considered morally wrong, a 2015 study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy says, 74% of men and 68% of women admit they’d have an affair if they knew they’d never get caught’’, said Michelle Crosby, relationship expert, ‘’Not such a wide gap between the sexes and an interesting revelation on the strength of morality in today’s world.’’
Bear in mind that women are not as opposed to cheating as we will want to believe. Time to look deeper at the reasons so many ladies are abandoning their vows, though some reasons may sound justifiable, others may really give you goose pimples.
Emotional Betrayal, this is often viewed to be a harmless companionship but professional relationship consultant, Chris Seiter says it’s just asking for trouble.
‘’Emotional cheating often leads to physical cheating, and even though the lines are blurred when dealing with ‘emotional cheating, It can just be as dangerous’’ he said.
Emotional cheating means different things to different people but at the end, it all boils down to the same motivation. ‘’If you have an emotional need that you need to get met by your partner and instead you go to someone else to get that need met, then that would be considered emotional cheating.’’
Example of emotional cheating includes, seeking someone else out to make you feel admired, important, reassured, appreciated or approved of.
The Attachment Mode, it is natural to assume that a person who is excessively attached to their partner would be less likely to cheat, but Charlotte Howard, Ph.D, says people who need high levels of attachment may be more prone to cheating for that very reason. ‘’Attachment style affects how people feel in close relationships and can make people insatiably hungry for more connection, in which case, they may have to look outside the relationship for more.’’ She explained.
Emotional Abandonment: for the simple fact that one’s mate is physically around does not mean he has emotionally arrived. This sort of abandonment can be very bad. ‘’The urge to cheat can often emerge, when the women feel emotionally abandoned’’ said psychotherapist and relationship expert, Rhonda Richards Smith, LCSW. ‘’The physical presence of a partner is never enough to sustain a healthy, satisfying relationship. It is important that couples communicate about their desires and expectations frequently. Rather than assuming or hoping your spouse can read your mind, you initiate a direct conversation about your wants that are not being met, especially as most women justify their infidelity because their emotional needs were not being fulfill by their husbands, as they feel ignored, not paid attention and complimented.
Cheating was not always premeditated, they realized how much, lonely and vulnerable they feel once someone else started giving them the needed attention.
Intimacy fears: being fearful has the power to destroy a relationship in a number of ways. Charlotte Howard, Ph.D, says those who have intimacy issues, may still seek out that sexual companionship, but not with their partner. She says some people may be ‘’scared of intimacy in a way that allow sexual desire to only be felt outside of a deep partnership, because there is too much closeness with a partner to feel safe merging through sex.’’
Revenge: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, Rhonda Milrad, founder and CEO of Relation up, says there is quite a bit of truth to that. ‘’Some women have been hurt, betrayed or disrespected by their partner and decide to retaliate by going outside of the relationship sexually and letting their partner know. It’s the “see how you like this lesson’’, she explained. It is essential you work to heal all resentments quickly. Don’t let wounds fester. In reality, it is hard to be fully attracted to someone if you do not feel emotionally safe, free and comfortable with them.’’ She further explained. ‘’If you harbor resentment for your partner, it is difficult to be hot for that person, especially if you are in a long-term relationship or marriage.’’ …TO BE CONTINUED