Are you in a serious romantic relationship? Are you in love with your partner and wouldn’t want to lose him or her? Then you need to read this.
In a relationship, there will always be disagreement. That’s how you understand each other and learn and grow together.
When you have a fight with your partner, it’s easy to lose control and make any of these mistakes.
1. Silent treatment
This is never a good way to express yourself. For one thing, it’s a form of abuse/punishment which is certainly not the way to go because you’re displeased. For another, silent treatment solves nothing. You cannot find a solution to your relationship problems if you don’t communicate. Reacting this way to relationship problems will only lead to resentment and overall dissatisfaction.
2. Hurling insults
When you have a fight with your partner, it’s not your chance to hurl every insult under the sun at him. You may end up settling that argument but those hurtful words are hardly ever forgotten. If you call him a ‘good-for-nothing’ for instance, he will always wonder if that’s how you really see him, long after you guys think the fight is over. Express your displeasure and anger without resorting to hurtful words.
3. Using “you never,” or “you always”
To drive your point home, you may be tempted to make a statement like “you always do this,” or “you never appreciate me…” These types of sweeping statements aren’t fair because your man cannot begin to defend himself over every single instance of ‘you never’ and ‘you always.’ Far from strengthening your argument, it can actually make it more unreliable especially when you’re not being completely honest. Focus on the here and now when you have a fight with your partner.
4. Not taking breaks
It will not help to bring up a fight when you’re both tired, hungry or someone is about to head out the door. It’s okay to take a pause and say, “we’ll talk about this tomorrow/ when you get back.” You may not realize it but your mood will affect how you deal with the fight. And if you have something else going on, you may overreact or even shut down.
Just because you decide to take a break does not mean you sweep everything under the rug. Fights don’t magically disappear until you have both talked about it. Ignoring it and pretending it’s not there will only lead to resentment and double the drama in future. When you have a fight with your partner, the goal is for you both to feel heard, understood and loved. If that’s not how all your arguments end, then you’re doing it wrong.