Love-making after child birth can be quite intense, as there is heavy anticipation leading up to the moment. It can be awkward and a bit painful, just like when you lost your virginity. Once this stage is passed, you will eventually get into the rhythm and find your old groove.
While having a baby can really be exciting experience in any woman’s life, it can also cause a number of changes; ranging from your sleeping pattern, daily activities, your priorities and most importantly, your sex life. Some ladies may be ready to hop into bed with their spouse, others may be reluctant.
These feelings are perfectly normal. ‘’Post- pregnancy can often be a time of mixed emotions when it comes to sex”.
Sex expert and educator at Too Timid, Bethany Ricciardi tells SheKnows. ‘’The bodily and hormonal changes that occur, can really dampen a woman’s desire to have sex.’’
From engorged breasts, weight gain, stretch marks or, caesarean scars to a sore, dry vagina and fatigue, it is understandable you may not feel sexy as you once did, let alone romping the bed sheets. ‘’Being cognizant of these changes in yourself or in your partner, are important to knowing when you or she will be ready to resume sex,’’ says Bethany Ricciardi.
Once you are sure about resuming sex, the next important step is to know the sex positions that will be most comfortable for you, in order not to create any extra injury to the vagina, as it may still be tender.
Below are the best after birth sex positions.
Woman on top style: choosing this position including the cowgirl, seated scissor or reverse missionary, means you get to control the insertion, depth, speed and clitoral stimulation as it help to ease you into copulation in a manner that literally makes you most comfortable.
From-Behind style: any position from the back such as the Doggy style, frisky flip, happy scissor, bent over counter or rear entry position is cool. ‘’Sometimes, fatigue may plague the new mom, so getting on top may not be choice No 1, ‘’ Ricciardi says. ‘’ In this instances, rear-entry position may work nicely.’’
However, if you have had perineum tearing, ‘’this position may not be comfortable,’’ she adds.
Spooning position: this is another very good position because it is intimate, shallow not very deep penetrating. If she is the type that is conscious about her bodily changes, this will help in taking the focus away from her body, and your spouse can also reach around to stimulate your clit.
Missionary position: this is an old, tried and true style , and it is most women’s favourite position due to its extremely intimate face to face positioning, clitoral rubbing which helps in orgasm and normal penetration depth.
Irrespective of your choice of position, resuming intercourse is a healthy, next post-natal especially, as it benefits you and your man in the long run. ‘’
Having that intimacy with your partner is important to your sexual health and happiness, as well as his,’’ Ricciardi says. ‘’Sex decreases stress, increases happiness, aids in better sleep and builds a stronger parental unit overall. Never feel guilty about giving some time to your partner or yourself.’’
Slippery when wet style: the feel of warm running water will help relax your muscles. This is actually the best shower position according to Cosmopolitan magazine. Hence, the magazine recommends a rear entry. Feel free to experiment with what feels best for you as the water flows.
The Cat style: this might just be the position you are looking for after childbirth. According to Men’s Health magazine, it puts major focus on the clitoris and less about thrusting.
Sideways 69 Position: you can bring more comfortable twist on this for oral sex if you are not in the mood for penetration. Instead of lying on top of one another, lie side by side for more ease and comfort as Women’s Health suggested.
Magic Mountain position: when you are not sure of what to do, turn to the Kama Sutra. A number of pillows are required for this style. So get enough pillows under your stomach thus, you will be fully supported in the typical doggy position stance.
Lifted Hips: this is your basic missionary with a pillow. Get flipping on your back and sliding a pillow under your hips to take the pressure off. This extra support could be most comfortable for post- pregnancy.
School of Rock position: take it easy by copulating in a seated position. Mount your mate as you rock back and forth in a chair or on the floor hence you control the rhythm and depth.
The PG Version: If it happens that you have tried a few of the above positions and your body seems not to be ready, all action is not lost as you can go the old school way with cuddling, kissing and massage as Moyo Clinic suggested.
It is okay to use non penetrative options such as sex toys, as these can help you ease your way back into making love after child delivery.
The most important part is for you to be comfortable and enjoy your self with after birth intercourse even if that means using sex toys to get your libido back. It is up to you, if not, that is also absolutely fine too.
Either way, just note that options are available. ‘’Ease yourself into sexual pleasure after giving birth by having your partner give you full massage ‘’ Cameron suggests. ‘’
This will awaken erogenous zones all over the body, including places that have not received a lot of attention lately.
Foreplay is a great way to excite the body and re waken sexual urges says Lovehoney Sexpert, Coco Cameron.
You setting your time for resuming to frisking the sheets, makes you stay in control and satisfied, thus, leaving you with a feeling of fulfillment.