Continued from last week!
Getting couples to engage in open dialogue about their sexual expectations is not easy; it is always complicated.
Talking is very important for a turnaround and boost in your sexual life.
Here’s what to do to have better sex in the new year:
ACTION STEP
Choose one action step that you can complete right away; something that will help you
with your biggest sex block. Be sure to get the sex book delivered and call your spouse to have that talk.
TACKLE FREQUENCY
This is not about gender or a male–female issue, as in husbands wanting more sex than
their wives. Instead, the high-libido spouse (sometimes the woman) and the low-sex-drive partner have to find a balance. Both partners should feel free to initiate, and some sexual times should be scheduled while others remain spontaneous. At the same time, agree on the number of times each month you can mate.
TRY AVOIDING PORN
Nothing destroys the level of trust and intimacy in marriage like knowing that your spouse is getting off on sex videos of others, as your partner always feels hurt and inadequate.
Watching porn will not make you more sexual; rather, it neuters you.
FACE YOUR PAST
Past sexual experiences, such as being sexually abused as a child, early exposure to
pornography, or being sexually active and addicted as a teenager, could still be affecting you presently and making it really hard to negotiate through the sexual maze.
Don’t fret. Face these fears and don’t try to bury them. Get professional help to navigate through this process.
TEAM PRAYER
Always try to pray together. Present your sexual challenges to the Almighty God, especially as He created the passion for intimacy and truly wants you and your spouse to freely and fully enjoy it within the boundaries of marriage. Pray for new ideas and compromises to allow for sexual growth for you and your spouse.
BREAK THE SILENCE
Reach out to a certified sex therapist who knows intimacy like the back of his or her hand to make the process faster and easier, just in case you are carrying sexual baggage and
struggling with sexual intimacy from the past. Hence, you will be having the best sex of your life long before December 2026 rolls around.
On a final note, don’t stop after the dopamine hit of accomplishment. Work out a plan with a few long-term actions that will give you a sex life that is no longer stressful or boring.
Have a Happy New Year round in the bedroom too.