By Josephine Agbonkhese
Kola Simon (not real names), 36, was deep in preparation for his final examination in a second postgraduate journey. In extreme anxiety over his first paper coming up Monday, just two days away, he had woken up quite early that fateful Saturday morning. He drafted a strict to-do list meant to keep him glued to his reading table the whole day, with only a one-hour break for a mild reset.
The young man had barely covered a few pages when his phone rang at about 9am. “Hello, Kola; are you home today? I’m stopping by at your place this afternoon. I just woke up this morning and decided I must fulfill my promise of visiting you which I made when you moved into your new apartment. I think I still have the address you sent.” The caller was a friend of his. Suddenly, the young man was torn between hosting an unexpected guest and nailing the day’s goals.
Unlike many other societies, “dropping by” unannounced has remained a practice that continues to shape how Nigerians connect with one another. A habit passed down through generations, this culture yet heavily reflects the enduring communal lifestyle of the average Nigerian in an increasingly individualistic world.
For most people, this habit may trigger occasional annoyances as the host, who probably was in the middle of cooking, having an online training or meeting, preparing for an important examination like Kola, or enjoying a rare quiet afternoon when someone dropped by, suddenly becomes one playing host. Thus, the next moment, he or she is bringing out cold drinks or even hurriedly preparing rice and stew, when their to-do list is screaming for attention.
“As a professional juggling lectures, research, and young children, unannounced visits are a serious productivity killer. I once had to cancel an important Zoom meeting with international collaborators because a distant relative ‘just passed by’ and expected full entertainment for two hours. We need to evolve. Respect for personal time and boundaries is not individualism— it is basic decency in a modern society. A simple call ahead costs nothing,” Dr. Fatima Adebayo, 41, a University Lecturer and Consultant said as she expressed disapproval over the habit.
In a nod to Fatima’s view, Tunde Williams, 34, a banker and father of two, described the culture as outdated and stressful.
“I work long hours in a demanding job and value my Saturday mornings for family time and rest. When people drop by without notice, it turns my time into public property. We should be teaching our children planning and consideration, not entitlement to other people’s space. True friendship respects boundaries,” he fumed.
For one hitherto dispirited though, such ‘just passed by’ could become that moment that instantly brightens the day. This is as these moments create space for genuine conversations that planned meetings sometimes miss. Everyone catches up on family gossip, share laughter over old memories, or receive unsolicited but valuable advice on everything from marriage to business and even spiritual matters.
Ngozi Okonkwo, a 52-year-old businesswoman and mother of four, perfectly captured this.
“People who complain about drop-bys are the same ones crying about loneliness when life hits them. Physical visits, whether impromptu or not, heal something no phone call could. This is how we have survived as a people — by showing up, not scheduling every emotion. My door is always open; my pot is always ready. That is love!”
Chinedu Eze, 28, a Software Developer, re-echoed Ngozi’s sentiment.
“I used to fight this too, but now I see the beauty. Last month, a childhood friend dropped by unannounced on a Friday I was exhausted from deadlines. We ended up praying together about my job stress and he connected me to a better opportunity. In this our Nigeria, relationship is currency. The culture forces you to be present,” he said.
In many ways however, the unannounced visit says, “You matter”. Children run around playing while adults converse heartily. It strengthens neighbourhood bonds and reminds everyone that family extends far beyond blood to the people who simply show up.
Interestingly, technology has not killed this tradition. Rather, it has reshaped it. A quick WhatsApp message like “I dey your side, I dey come” or a voice note now often precedes the visit, giving just enough notice without losing the spontaneity. This blend helps maintain harmony between respect for people’s time and privacy.
At its heart, the culture of ‘visiting’ and ‘dropping by’ is about presence over perfection. In a world growing more digital and isolated, Nigerians have stubbornly held on to this beautiful habit, reminding everyone that relationships are not always convenient, but are always worth the temporary disruption of a perfectly planned day. So, the next time someone says “I was just passing by,” take a deep breath, smile, and open your door wide. You might just be making a memory or strengthening a bond.