By Adesuwa Ewoigbokhan
Within days of giving birth, your breasts will be filled with milk. Touching, rubbing or sucking on the nipples during sex may make breast milk to flow and you may even have leak or spray breast milk during orgasm.
Note that your vagina too will be dry for comfortable penetration during mating. Therefore, spend time on foreplay. Keep a bottle of a water-based lube handy to make things easier when ruffling the bed sheets.
Furthermore, you may experience nipple pain because of breastfeeding. This may make your flesh sensitive.
If uncomfortable with your man touching your boobs during sex, be sure to tell him about this ahead of time. Let him know you will prefer to have a “look but don’t touch” rule, he can get arousal this way from the visual while you feel more comfortable and relaxed.
During this new and exciting time in your lives, it is vital that you be open and honest with your lover, sex postpartum can be fun and pleasurable.
As with everything else that is new in your life right now, you need to work through this with your man. Have a conversation about sex and how you feel about it, try using these talking points to guide you:
*Bare your insecurities and concerns, it will allow your partner to better serve you if you are honest about how you feel — the good and the bad.
*Consider what you want by asking yourself what you really seek in pleasure and intimacy right now. If it is not penetrative sex, say so. If something doesn’t feel comfortable, speak up. Similarly, listen when your guy expresses his concerns and desires.
* You will know when you’re ready for sex again. If it is not as soon as you want, that’s fine. You and your spouse can explore other ways to be intimate. If you are worried about pain or discomfort during mating, talk with your doctor and consider taking your partner with you to the appointment too. This way, you can both ask questions and feel more secure in your choices.
*Your body undergoes a lot of changes during pregnancy and in the months after your baby is delivered so, if sex does not feel as pleasurable anymore (delivery can stretch muscles), talk with your partner about trying a new position. Never assume it is better to stay silent, pleasure and intimacy are a two-way thing.
*Intimacy is more than sex while love making is more than penetrative intercourse. If you and your partner are looking for ways to reconnect and engage one another in intimate ways, consider these techniques:
*Kiss and make out with your clothing on, this allows you to feel aroused again and may encourage sexual activities in the future that both of you can look forward to.
*Indulge in mutual masturbation and oral sex. Sex toys may also be a good idea in post delivery period while the surge of hormones, can make arousal and sensual touching more pleasurable.
With a little time, effort and dedication, you and your partner can find comfortable and meaningful ways to reconnect and enjoy one another in this post-natal period.
Bear in mind that this stage will pass; so, focus on keeping the lines of communication open in the meantime. Remember that intimacy is not equated with having sexual intercourse. Rather, it is important that you and your lover feel a closeness and bond with each other.
Kisses, an occasional nuzzle or a back rub, may convey these feelings better than more intense physical contact. Sincere compliments can mean a lot to a new mother who may feel less “put together” than she is used to, and may feel a little self-conscious about her postpartum shape.
For this reason, it is important to share your feelings about breastfeeding and new parenthood with your mate whenever possible.
Such conversations can help preserve the intimacy of your relationship during the physically challenging early months, while also supporting your partner in her breastfeeding efforts at a time when every encouraging word helps.
If you love the sight of her breastfeeding your baby, tell her how it makes you feel and if you consider her new figure just as sexy, let her know.
Share with her your pride in her commitment to breastfeeding as she breastfeeds in public, and make herself available to satisfy your child’s hunger at all times.
This form of asexual support can eventually help the couple to rediscover one another and re- establish their intimacy and sexual expression.