A number of reasons exist why lovers want to have sex without penetration. This could happen when a couple is recovering from an infection, out of condoms, or practicing fertility awareness and it’s a fertile day. It could also happen when penetration just does not feel good for you or hurts. The list is endless.
Let’s normalise non-penetrative sex because not only is it part of a healthy and incredibly satisfying sexual experience, it can help us focus on stimulating, often, neglected areas of our bodies.
The ability to just focus on pleasure without the goal of penetration, reminds us that insertion and orgasm do not need to go hand-in-hand. Mixing things up is important and keeping penetration off the menu is one way to challenge yourself, to explore other forms of sexual pleasure.
Here are some super-hot sexy things you can indulge in that have nothing to with penetration.
- Dry humping/grinding- is basically rubbing up on your spouse’ body with or without clothes on and can be genital-to-genital rubbing or rubbing against your partner’s leg. If you have not indulged in this since your early days of sexual exploration, it’s time to gain back all that you have missed out on.
- Try sex toys- not all toys are designed for insertion. Toys such as wand-style vibrators, feather and suction toys are great on the clitoris/ penis/nipples.
- Mutual masturbation- masturbating side by side with your partner may sound awkward; that’s if you’ve never tried it before now. But it doesn’t have to be as it can be a huge a turn-on to watch your partner applying their own expert touch, plus, you might just pick up a few tips about what they like and how they like it. This is also a great way to practise safer sex since it doesn’t involve skin-to-skin contact and no fluids are being exchanged. Note that if semen mistakenly gets inside your vagina, you can get pregnant even if there was no penetration.
*Make use of hands only- switch up the mutual masturbation by enjoying each other’s touch. There’s plenty to do with hands that doesn’t involve penetration, and remember your lubricant. Explore nipple stimulation and other types of sensation, play with your hands (hands are actually your best sex tools).
- Oral- this can be great foreplay and does not have to be the opening act although it can be the star of the show. Keep in mind that you can’t get pregnant from oral sex, but you could get an STI.
- Hot make out- oftentimes, when penetration is the end game, stuffs like kissing get rushed or overlooked; forgetting that there are other erogenous zones all over your body. So, a slow exploration of your lover’s hot spots can be incredibly sexy and can be the sex itself.
Going off penetration for a while is not really a bad idea. It encourages you to communicate, articulate what works for you and what doesn’t, and to enjoy sex in new ways- the same way it’s not all about insertion, it is also not all about genitals.
Give it a try and see if it works for you and your spouse.
Best of luck!