By Dr. Gbonjubola Abiri
“Loneliness knows me by name” a song by Westlife, through its lyrics, discussed one haunting feeling that many quietly endure but rarely talk about.
The World Loneliness Week held between June 9-15 serving as a reminder that beyond being a feeling, loneliness is an epidemic that millions of people face worldwide.
In the movie: The Green Book the line: “The world is full of lonely people afraid to make the first move” speaks to loneliness. Even in our current digital age, where people are on an average of 3 social media platforms and seem more “connected”, the reality is that people feel unseen, unheard and unconnected.
Loneliness is a public health concern and a mental health issue which does not always equate being alone physically, but includes feeling alone, unheard, misunderstood or not having anyone to turn to in time of need.
It is a silent companion that may hide behind contented faces, beautiful social media updates, as well as seemingly busy updates.
It can affect students away from home, young professionals passionate about their work, couples navigating marriage or childbearing, retirees battling a loss of income, as well as elderly people whose children have left home.
Persistent loneliness isn’t just emotionally painful, it is physically dangerous for our health.
Chronic loneliness has been compared to smoking 15 cigarettes per day and increases the risk for stroke, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline and early death.
Our mental health and loneliness are interrelated, as loneliness can worsen symptoms of mental illness, while mental illnesses can, in turn, cause people to socially isolate and withdraw. Loneliness is often perceived by the brain as a threat which may initially affect sleep, appetite and immune response, and then later create a vicious cycle between loneliness and poor mental health.
Managing loneliness will require active and deliberate steps which include:
- Acknowledge that you may be struggling by naming the feeling without shame or judgment.
- Understand the root cause as you ask yourself if you are lacking meaningful relationships or going through a recent change.
- Strengthen existing relationships by checking in with loved ones.
- Create new connections as you find new hobbies and volunteer for causes.
- Enjoy your own company by engaging in things you like doing on your own.
- Treat yourself with kindness and compassion as you would treat a friend.
- Seek professional help if loneliness becomes chronic and disabling.
Understand that loneliness can be successfully managed as you fill your life with purpose, presence and people who genuinely matter to you. Be willing to make the first move as someone else is eagerly waiting on the other side.
Remember, there is no health without mental health.