By Dr. Gbonjubola Abiri
A brand new year may come with invisible baggage that doesn’t show up at airports, train stations or in cars. It makes its way into our lives, offices, homes, relationships and the decisions we make. This is our emotional backpack.
When I met Mr P, he bragged that nothing could affect him especially after surviving all that could have broken him in the previous year; business and financial disappointments, losses, months of uncertainty and much more. In the middle of his conversation, he stepped off his high horse when he said: ‘But Doc, I am always exhausted and I don’t know why.’
The honest truth is that his emotional backpack was overfilled and overwhelmed. Quite often as humans, we may think that we can make our emotions disappear when we refuse to acknowledge them. When emotions are neglected especially for far too long, they start to show up as irritability, chronic fatigue, nonchalance, emotional numbness or burnout. Unfortunately however, enduring hardship is often celebrated and glorified in many cultures including ours leading to silent suffering.
In the new year, while we make all the big plans to make it a fabulous year, it is important to ask ourselves: ‘What am I carrying emotionally and how can I pack the right items into my emotional backpack?’.
To create an emotional backpack that is healthy and intentional, you must ensure the following:
- Be Self-aware as you take stock of what last year cost you. Was it betrayal, shattered hopes, grief, exhaustion or disappointment? Being able to accurately assess and name your emotion helps in managing it.
- Practice self-compassion by eliminating harsh self-judgement for not being enough, doing enough or coping with struggles when you compare yourself to others.
- Put boundaries in place as this will prevent you from carrying the weight other people’s expectations and pressures that exceed your capacity to cope.
- Ensure support as no one thrives emotionally in isolation. Support may be in form of a trusted friend, partner, loved one, faith, therapy, community or the simple courage to say: ‘I need help’.
- Be hopeful as you accept reality, confront challenges and believe that growth is possible, even if it sometimes appears slow.
- Celebrate your wins as you cheer yourself on. Progress does not always have to be big before it is celebrated.
2026 may not necessarily come with a lighter load so, before you get into the pressure that the year can bring, open your backpack, choose carefully what you carry and ensure you are traveling right.
Remember, there is no health without mental health.