By Adesuwa Ewoigbokhan

Dear Adesuwa,

Your post on “Embracing The Power Of Self-Love” is thought-provoking and it brings inner joy, confidence, lasting peace of mind.
But does “Self Love” in any way counter loving your neighbour first?

Ubulu,
Imo State.

Dear Ubulu,

Self-love and loving your neighbour aren’t mutually exclusive; they can complement each other. Self-love focuses on self-acceptance, self-care, and self-worth, while loving your neighbour involves kindness, empathy, and compassion towards others.
By prioritising self-care and self-worth, you become more confident and resilient, enabling you to build stronger relationships and contribute positively to your community. Embracing both aspects, we can foster a balanced, compassionate, and loving approach to life.

Dear Adesuwa,

I lost my job for almost a year and my wife has been paying all bills because she works. This has affected her libido as she is always tired for intercourse.

I’m seriously considering cheating on my wife

Ortega,
Lagos State.

Dear Otega,

Here are some potential steps to resolve the issue:

1. Communication: Couple should have an open and honest conversation about their feelings, concerns, and needs.
2. Acknowledge your wife’s efforts and express gratitude for her support during your job loss.
3. Teamwork can you explore ways to manage stress/fatigue, like sharing household chores or finding ways to recharge.
4. Discuss ways to maintain intimacy despite fatigue, such as scheduling quality time together or finding relaxing activities.
5. Job search: Focus on finding new job opportunities, which may help restore your confidence and contribute to the household.
6. Self-reflection: you should reflect on why you are considering infidelity and address any underlying issues.
7. Seeking professional help can help provide tools to navigate this challenging period and strengthen your union.

Dear adesuwa,

Please what are the benefits of having sex? And what are the benefits of abstaining from sex?
What are the side effects of not having sex?
Segun, Lagos State.

Dear Segun,
Having sex offers benefits like improved cardiovascular health, lower stress, quality sleep, a stronger immune system, better mood, and a boost in self esteem/confidence while abstaining from sex can prevent pregnancy, sexual transmitted diseases, and for a few, abstinence can reduce stress if sex was previously a source of pain or obligation and also it can be a healthy personal choice.

The side effects of not having sex can lead to a feeling of frustration, boredom, loneliness, or a lack of intimacy especially if sex is desired and sometimes strain relationships.