Q & A*

Dear Adesuwa,

I recently read your article, Get Her Heart, The Body Will Follow.” I enjoyed it: could age gap be a barrier in marriage?

Obi, Asaba

Dear Obi,

Age gap alone is rarely the problem. Shared values, mutual respect, effective communication, and a willingness to grow together matter far more. A healthy marriage is built less on age than on understanding, friendship, and commitment. A successful marriage is measured by commitment, not by the years between you.

Dear Adesuwa,

I enjoyed your article, “The Power of a Wife Who Initiates.” Is it normal for a man to become bored when he is always the one initiating intimacy after several years of marriage?

Kayode, Lagos

Dear Kayode,
Yes, constantly initiating can leave a husband feeling unwanted. Healthy intimacy thrives when both spouses occasionally express desire. A wife who initiates sometimes reassures her husband that he is wanted, not merely expected to make the first move. Feeling desired should never be the responsibility of only one spouse.

Dear Adesuwa,

My husband and I can go days, weeks, or months without speaking after an argument. Is prolonged malice quietly damaging our marriage?

Jenny, Abuja

Dear Jenny,
True, prolonged silence creates emotional distance and leaves conflicts unresolved. Every marriage has disagreements, but healing begins when couples choose honest conversation over pride and silence. That may end in argument, but it rarely heals a marriage.

Dear Adesuwa,

As a wife, I’m afraid my husband will think I’m too forward if I initiate sex. How do I start?

Ufuoma, Warri

Dear Ufuoma,
Start small with warm hug, a loving text, a lingering kiss, or simply telling him you desire his company can communicate interest. Initiating intimacy is not losing your dignity; it is investing in your marriage. Initiating love is not weakness; it’s emotional generosity.

Dear Adesuwa,

My husband says I never appreciate him, but I don’t know how to make him feel desired without seeming fake.

Abike, Lagos

Dear Abike,
Be genuine, appreciate him sincerely, show affection, spend quality time together, and occasionally express your desire. Simple, consistent acts of love often mean more than grand gestures. Partners flourish where they feel valued.

Dear Adesuwa,
We’ve been married for eight years, and our conversations are mostly about bills, children, and work. How do we reconnect emotionally?
Idemudia, Benin

Dear Idemudia,
Reconnect by intentionally making time for each other. Talk beyond responsibilities, share your thoughts and dreams, laugh together, and create moments of companionship. Never stop dating the person you married.