Relationships require serious work. It is a function of how much efforts both parties invest in making it work. Relationship is also tied to effective communication. No wonder it is important for the intending couples to be mindful of their words. There is an adage that says words are like broken eggs, when spoken can’t be retrieved. Below are words that should not be included in ones vocabulary to make your relationship work:

1. You
It is neither about only you or the other person. Basically, it involves both of you. Seeing your partner as teammate helps develop trust. Word like ”you never…” should be replaced with ”We could…”. Try to substitute the word ”you” with ”we”

2. I
To an extent the word ”I” is selfish. The use of ”we” is relationship-friendly. As mentioned before, ”we” carries the other person along. ”I” should be substituted with ”we”

3. Should
This might exercise some form of authourity. Saying you should have done something to your partner implies you are doubting his/her abilities and that are right. ”Should” replaced with ”Could” is the surest bet.

4. Must
This word emphasizes control. The user is frankly playing god and this would not help. Instead of using the word ”must”, it could be replaced with ”please” and ”thank you”. They do not show weakness but shows that you respect your partner.

5. Expect
Words like ”I expect you to…”makes the other person feel like a loser.Your partner is likely to be on a defensive mode because you accused him/her of something done wrong.Trying as much to use relationship-friendly words that build, encourage and show respect would help you achieve relationship goals in the long-run.

By Patricia Uyeh