How I gave up my dream of becoming the greatest female rapper in Africa because of deep dark depression – Eva Alordiah
After giving up her dream of becoming the “greatest female rapper in Africa” 5 years ago, Nigerian rap star, Eva Alordiah has revealed why.
Speaking through a lengthy tweet, she revealed that she was suffering from a deep dark depression which she eventually overcame.
Revealing that she now owns a tech start-up, has a new life and recording again, Eva went on to list ways one can overcome depression.
5 years ago I gave up my dream of becoming the greatest female rapper in Africa. I was suffering a deep, dark depression. Today I own a Tech Start-up, I have new life & I’m Recording again! Here’s what I have learned about giving up your dreams, Depression & Finding yourself
You are an Artist, You are NOT your Art. Over the years I had become identified with what I did —Eva The Rapper – I didn’t know myself beyond that. It has taken years of persistent introspection, meditation & patience to know myself and stand apart from my work.
I now understand the Depression as a Spiritual experience- a shedding of old layers, the stripping away of illusion, a coming face to face with all that isn’t so I can see what IS I am not my thoughts, I am not my Body. I am not my accomplishments. I AM //not medical advice
The Depression was the pathway to my Awakening. It forced me to give up who I thought I was, to block off everyone else and their dogmas, and to accept a state of nothingness. I found peace when I accepted myself as No thing, No one, No me. //not medical advice
Your Purpose in Life has nothing to do with making Money & getting Fame. I was famous, yet I was dying daily in the loneliness of my privacy. I found Purpose when I learned that my Gifts were given me by the Creator to help people Focus on serving people, all else is bullshit
Fame can Destroy you if you are not grounded in your Source. Everyone knew who I was, but I looked in the mirror & was lost! I committed myself to KNOWING my Self & God within. I questioned everything & searched in weird places for ancient wisdom. If you Seek you shall find
Be You, the world will adjust. In finding myself again, I realized I didn’t have to do what was expected of me. I started using my gifts in New ways & felt no pressure to please anyone. I simply did what I wanted to do. You are still here.
Sometimes you may have to give up who you think you should be so you can become who you really came to be. I thought I wanted to be a Rapper. Now I have come to understand myself as a Teacher at my core. My skills in Writing, Speaking, Music- all combine now to help me Teach
What people think is their problem to deal with. Trust that You know what you are doing. I got even more depressed reading comments like — “You fell off “What are you doing with your life “Your career crashed— I learned to block the noise & trust MY WAY. I am happier for it
In Finding yourself and starting over, you are ALLOWED to do whatever the fuck you want.
I gave myself permission to try new things & do it ALL!
I built a SAAS platform
I created content online
I hosted Webinars
I did more writing
As an Artist, you can do many things, but you CANNOT be everything at the same time. Trying my hands in different things meant that I learned and acquired many diverse skills quickly. But to grow as a person, I have had to CHOOSE one thing & combine my skills to fulfill that
As an Artist, taking a break from your Art is Beneficial. If you spend your time away developing yourself and acquiring new skills, everything you learn will combine to make you an even better Artist. I didn’t quit music. I stopped to go find my true self. I am better for it
7 Things that pulled me out of the Depression:
Making peace with being a NOBODY
Positive affirmations & Journaling
An obsession with Self development
Intense Daily Exercise
Ferocious reading & study
Connecting with Nature
//not medical advice
Everything you were told is a Lie. You have to give up the old Mind & become born-again. I was raised Christian—after the depression, being born again holds NEW meaning. You must rewire your beliefs & become transformed by the reNEWing of your mind. Question everything
Happiness is NOT a destination. It is a state of mind that can be tapped into by the redirection of your Awareness. People want to be happy when they: -get the job -become famous -have more money If you are not happy where you are now, you won’t be happy where you are going
Entertainment is great. Education is Power.
For 5 years through my healing process I
stopped listening to music
stopped watching TV
stopped going out
Instead I stayed home &
listened to audio trainings
enrolled in Youtube University
spent time with fam369310
Here are 6 Speakers and 5 Books that Helped me a Lot when I was depressed:
- Jiddu Krishnamurti
- Neville Goddard
- Alan Watts
- Dr Myles Munroe
- Jim Rohn
- Les Brown
- Think and Grow Rich
- The Power of Now
- Seth Speaks
- Feeling is the Secret
- The Artists Way
You can’t give your Best to the world when you are broken. I always knew I was going to get back to my music as some point, I just didn’t know when. Day after day I watched my Confidence plummet but my focus was on being healthy, not pleasing the world. Take care of you
Yes I am back to recording again!
Fortunately, I don’t give a fuck about fame.
I am now only making music for people who want it.
Today I find fulfillment in using my words not only to Rap & Entertain, but to Speak, Teach, Inspire, Empower and uplift people.
I now spend my time juggling between helping Creators make money selling courses and recording music.
It is by Grace.
PS: When I was depressed, I was also unfortunately Broke AF. I turned to the Internet and learned how to make money online by selling my own digital products.
Be vocal about your Pain. Every time you share, you help the next person. Sharing my stories through the years has been a super weapon for me