I almost hated my son after my wife died during his birth – Comedian, Elder O makes an open confession
Popular Lagos based Comedian, David Ogechukwu professionally known as Elder O may have recovered from the pains and sorrows of losing his wife during childbirth, few months after their wedding, but the memories of the loss still lingers.
Elder O, married his late wife , Charity Odoemelam traditionally on February 1, 2014 and sadly buried her on December, 30th same year, after she died during the birth of their first child.
Determined to help others who might in one way or the other find themselves in depressing situations, Elder O made a bold step.
In a lengthy post he shared on Facebook, the father of one who is fast becoming one of the most sought after comedian in Lagos, recalled how he almost hated his son after the loss of his wife, his struggles with depressions and suicide thoughts.
His part of his story reads: “After DJ Xgee killed himself, last weekend I shared a story at one of my events just to encourage those that are passing through tough times that things will definitely get better. I never knew my true life stories will touch a whole lot of people and the feedbacks I got after the show at Ojez was amazed me.
Some sent me texts to thank me while others posted it on social media and begged me to share it online, after much thought I’ve decided to do so.
I came to Lagos in 2001 on the invitation of my uncle’s wife (Mummy Monique) I told them straight up that I want to do business. They took me to their family friend who is a big business mogul and that was how my journey that was supposed to last one year lasted 7years.
The initial plan was for me to learn for 1year and then my uncle will give me money to start my own business but my Oga liked my impact in his business and delayed me for 7years with the excuse that I will leave when there is a viable replacement.Because of their relationship with my oga,my uncle have to soft-pedal for peace to reign until one day his wife said enough is enough and they came to my oga’s house and gave me 200k in 2016 to use and pay for shop so that I can start my own business.
To cut the long story short,when my Oga finally released me to leave,the shop I paid for was remaining 3weeks to expire. So the 2nd money my uncle gave me to start my own business in 2007 I used it to renew the shop rent.I went to Aba to buy goods with N18k lol after transport it was remaining 15k and I don’t want to disturb my uncle again because by then he was seriously sick.
God used a guy (Ononogbu) and his mum at ahia ohuru in Aba to start the business for me,they gave me goods worth N150k to sell and return the capital. That was how my business started and by October in 2007 I rented a 2nd shop and placed some (oso ahia guys) there. Then December 2007 I came back from Aba with goods hoping to come in the morning and open them. The fire started that evening and I lost all the goods in that tejuosho market inferno….back to square one.
The little ones I managed to remove from the fire was stolen at Vaswani market oshodi,two weeks later I was given quit notice from the boys quarters where I stayed. I gathered the small money with me and paid for a room at coker with my cousin Ifeanyi. Then I went to Mandilas at Lagos island to hustle.. From 2 shops to ‘oso ahia’ ( those guys in the market that will take you to anywhere u want and add their own money when they sell to u).I did that until I raised small money and started hawking jeans in front of a friend’s shop (Joel) at Emmab plaza. I started that business with 8k and in 6months I had N250k cash plus 180 pieces of jeans (All these while from 2006 I’ve been doing comedy and mc jobs but most times I don’t even ask for money).
So by July 2008 I was chased away from the place I used to shed the jeans then I decided to pay for a kicklamp…small shops that were constructed beside the central bank building. I paid and we were given receipts by the government N70k for 6months. By Thursday I went with carpenter to put it in order…boom the place was demolished. Police and CBD officials were there with black-maria to pick up anybody that will say piiim. Then after the December rush I decided to sell off all the jeans and use the money to pay for a house,at least make I know sey I get house then focus on my comedy career. I paid for a house around that lagos-badagary road I never knew the demolition for the road expansion will get there. The land lord knew the house was marked but trust Lagos wicked landlords… The house was demolished few days after we paid.
I used the last money with me and teemed up with my friend Chime we payed for a 2bedroom flat N500k a year at airways Ijesha so that we can share it and use the parlour together…we were duped,if you remember one house 8 flats that was rented to 52 tenants in 2009 I dey among lol. I went back to mandilas and started doing oso ahia again to raise small money because by then landlord has already given us quit notice and my cousin already found a house,from his body language it was obvious he don’t want us to live together again. I managed and paid for a room at odogbolu aguda,then Olodan street at orile and now ijesha where I live presently.
God started blessing my comedy career and I bought 2 cars in quick succession plus few blessings I can not mention here,I was doing fine everything seem to have settled until my father’s illness became too serious I had to leave Lagos to go and look after him personally when it seems that my younger ones are getting tired of him. I spent a whole lot of money taking him to different hospitals and finally at obioma hospital where I sold my car to pay the exorbitant bills and he eventually died in 2013,No money for the burial…I sold the 2nd car to bury my father.
I got married the next year and the marriage started on 02/01/2014 with our traditional marriage and ended on 30/12/2014 with my wife’s burial….we lost her after child birth.
Then depression sets in and I began to hear voices that were telling me to kill myself that I’ve suffered enough. I passed through a lot that period,The news was everywhere,both Linda and other bloggers that have never helped my career before started trending my misfortune and before you say jack I was invited to Abuja by The ministry of women affairs and some NGOs that I should give them go ahead to shut down Havana hospital and fight for me,I thought it was a joke until they sent me flight tickets to just come and sign some documents, my lawyer on the other hand was asking for my permission to go to court. Some useless radio stations were telling stories of how I ran mad after losing my wife. I was thinking of so many things, I hated our son because the devil will always remind me that my wife died because of this boy…it took me over a month to begin to love him. I didn’t have the courage to hold the mic for over 3months after her burial I gave all my jobs to colleagues I stopped going to church for like 3 months if I hear where people were praying it irritates me, I collapse frequently while walking on the road until the doctor told me I had HighBP.My mother and my mother in-law moved in with me and their stay helped to stabilize me.
Then my recovery started and the only advise that worked for me was ”Elder O go back to that thing that gives you happiness…your job”,I remember crying while on the mic and at the back stage anytime I was hosting a wedding reception.Sometime in early 2008 I collapsed on Idumota bridge while trekking from Lagos island to orile because the last N50 I had was supposed to be my feeding money that night and I had serious typhoid… No money for drugs.some good samaritans carried me to a chemist where they revived me and bought me drugs. I remember trekking for one week from orile coker to ayilara in surulere for my church’s youth program because I no get money for transport and I no sabi beg. I remember the day I was MCing a wedding after my wife’s burial and I was crying under the dark shades I wore,while the couple were dancing,the devil took me to the balcony and told me to jump from that 3rd floor that it will make headlines ”comedian commits suicide at his client’s wedding”. The chairman’s voice on the microphone shouting ”where is the mc” brought my senses back. I survived two suicide attempts and you want me to finally do it because you think I am the fattest man on the planet
In conclusion, the rib-cracker advised his fans and followers to desist from whatever could make the next person go into depression or harbour a suicidal thought.
“Please stop body-shaming me because the next time you do I won’t take it lightly with you,sometimes I see people call me orobo and some of them have body odour but I have never used it against them. I am fat yes I know it and please stop reminding me each time you see me,the same people that complained when I was skinny are still complaining now.we are all created differently in our own uniqueness. Some of the things I survived might have killed you if you were in my shoes so shut up because we all have our individual challenges. Do not be the reason why I will contemplate suicide again,if you can’t be a solution to my problem please don’t add to it.
Now my story has changed for good,that boy I once hated is now my best friend,I am now one of the very few original comedians and my annual comedy show COMIC RELIEF is the biggest on the mainland.
Depression is REAL talk to people,seek help,don’t drink alcohol when you are depressed it will make you to begin to think of many things and how to end it all.”