COUPLES’ THERAPY AMIDST COVID-19 PANDEMIC
By Adesuwa Ewoigbokhan
The corona virus pandemic is beginning to have a huge impact on couples’ lives, as well as health and wellbeing of individuals, families and communities worldwide.
Fortunately enough, this is the perfect time to reach out to professionals like Sex/Marriage/Relationship experts who recognize the changes that are occurring in how partners access their relationships as result of the COVID-19 pandemic.
This is not narrowed to just resources, but also to activities of daily of living such as; communication, mobility, social isolation, displacement, mental health and well being.
Sex, Marriage and Relationship therapists understand the vital need for spouses to use professional therapy, to sustain good psychological and mental health. So feel free to seek them out.
Going for therapy might sound scary especially because it is associated with a relationship that’s in a deep-rooted situation.
It can be helpful at any stage of your affair even when things seem rosy. Getting to an expert early, helps you get to the root of the problem before it escalates.
Having an open conversation with a professional will not only assist you to communicate better with your spouse, it can also help to avert problems you once had, once and for all.
Here are some signs that indicate that it’s time to go for that therapy session.
Are you still arguing about who is to clean up after eating?
Having to share your home 24/7 with someone else is sure to cause differences and frustration. If you are repeatedly on an issue that usually leads to screaming, yelling and attacking, especially in this era of partial lockdown with curfew at its heels, it is a sign that you need a therapist.
Reaching out to a therapist will definitely help put things in perspective. When you suddenly prefer watching movies to having sex with your spouse, or you are not quite as into it as you used to be, or you are nicer to your colleagues, then it is time to figure out why you are not connecting sexually.
Sex therapist Vanessa Marin says that when you notice yourself retreating into personal affairs instead of making an effort to share your experiences with your husband, you are ignoring bigger issues.
You may not even realize you’re doing it, so consider the situation.
If you decide to use separate rooms at home, co-existing in every room can crush your stuff, it is cool to need some space, or if you’re actively avoiding being in the same room with your spouse, then its time to ask yourself why.
No one relationship is perfect. Every couple goes through difficult experiences. We are all work in progress.
The real issue is when you are pitching your marriage perfection while holding onto a grudge, and using it against your better half, consciously trying to make him or her feel bad.
This inability to let go of the past will affect your matrimony. Here is where therapist can help you figure out why you’re still holding on to past feelings, as well as how to move past it.
When envy becomes the order of the day – it’s good to get jealous every now and then; this is completely normal. But when it begins to affect your relationship with your mate, causing you to drift apart, then it’s time to see the therapist in order to find a way of ending such negative emotion.
Whatever you do, avoid pushing your feelings to the side, nothing will ever get resolved if you don’t acknowledge them. Usually, by the time a couple comes to therapy, basic causes would have led to more troubles that could have been avoided.
Couples should seek therapy long before they think they ‘’need’’ to. Most experts believe that therapy can actually be a significant part of your relationship. ‘’Most issues within spouses often start small; gradually grow in size when they don’t get resolved. This is where therapy can help, by giving tools and techniques to improve conflict resolution’’ explained Kristie Overstreet, a licensed mental health counselor. Quite a number of couples always wished they had sought professional help years or months earlier.
‘’There are always three sides to every story, his side, her side and the truth’’ A third party that is objective, may just be the ticket when couples feel that they can no longer communicate effectively.
TO BE CONTINUED…