Vanguard Allure

Top Menu

  • Vanguard

Main Menu

  • Home
  • Allure Magazine
    • Features
    • Magazine
    • Profiles
  • Allure TV
  • Celebration
    • Fashion & Style
    • Weddings
    • Lifestyle
    • Events
  • Wellbeing
    • Allure Woman
    • Healthy Living
    • Beauty
  • Happiness
    • Food
    • Shopping
    • Travel
    • Relationships
    • Career
  • News
  • Vanguard

logo

Vanguard Allure

  • Home
  • Allure Magazine
    • Ruky Ogbetuo: From Fashion Writing To Prolific Designer

      January 21, 2023
      0
    • Bisola Alabi: Tech Savvy

      January 15, 2023
      0
    • Wumi Jubril - Providing Ultimate Wellness Experience

      January 13, 2023
      0
    • Celebrities Share their New Year’s Resolutions with us

      January 2, 2023
      0
    • EZINNE DORA KAYODE-----Excelling in a man’s world

      January 2, 2023
      0
    • Gbemi and Toolz -On Career Path and Christmas

      December 25, 2022
      0
    • NGO trains women, PWDs in Mushin on funds sourcing for SMEs

      December 22, 2022
      0
    • Stakeholders call for more women's participation in political leadership positions

      December 19, 2022
      0
    • DRASA MD, Niniola Williams wins GEDA Digital skills competition

      December 19, 2022
      0
    • Features
    • Magazine
    • Profiles
  • Allure TV
  • Celebration
    • Fashion & Style
    • Weddings
    • Lifestyle
    • Events
  • Wellbeing
    • Allure Woman
    • Healthy Living
    • Beauty
  • Happiness
    • Food
    • Shopping
    • Travel
    • Relationships
    • Career
  • News
    • Austin Faani wonders why actresses are not supporting Funke Akindele's Deputy Governorship ...

      January 26, 2023
      0
    • Mixed reactions as LASU bars students with indecent dressing from class

      January 24, 2023
      0
    • Iyabo Ojo warns Nigerians to vote wisely ahead of election

      January 19, 2023
      0
    • Sharia Court detains Judges, cashier, others over 500m theft

      Sharia Court detains Judges, cashier, others over 500m theft

      January 19, 2023
      0
    • JJC Skillz returns to Islam

      JJC Skillz returns to Islam

      January 19, 2023
      0
    • Hall of Fame to induct Snoop Dogg, Sade Adu

      Songwriters Hall of Fame to induct Snoop Dogg, Sade Adu

      January 19, 2023
      0
    • Actress Caroline Danjuma earns an MSc in law

      Actress Caroline Danjuma earns an MSc in law

      January 18, 2023
      0
    • Mercy Johnson opens up on reasons she's on life-long medication

      January 13, 2023
      0
    • US hospital names Dora Akunyili’s daughter as chief medical officer

      January 13, 2023
      0
  • Why I can’t marry an actress – Kelvin Chizzy, Filmmaker 

  • ‘How sex scene with Jim Iyke almost got me expelled from Uni’ – Lilian Afegbai

  • ‘Why you should make a rich woman your life partner’ – Jason Njoku

  • Austin Faani wonders why actresses are not supporting Funke Akindele’s Deputy Governorship ambition

  • Why I’ve never been married – actor Charles Okocha

LifestyleRelationships
Home›Celebration›Lifestyle›5 destructive habits that can slowly kill your marriage

5 destructive habits that can slowly kill your marriage

August 11,2021
Share:

Just like growing a fruitful garden, raising a strong marriage needs constant hard work and nurturing.

Therefore, if both spouses put enough effort into their marriage, it will thrive. And vice versa. “Feed your relationship with unhealthy habits, and you might end up in divorce court,” says Ashley Davis Bush, licensed psychotherapist and writer.

5 destructive habits that slowly kill your marriage | Pulse Nigeria

Fortunately, it’s never too late to analyze your behavior and spot destructive habits that sooner or later could terminate your marriage.

So, what are those dangerous habits that could undermine your healthy marriage and turn it into hell? Read on to find out.

Criticism and name-calling

The reasons one spouse may pick on the other could originate from childhood experiences, personality traits, and even falling out of love. Constant unjustified criticism creates tension and undermines marriage in the worst way possible.

Dr. Jim Burns, a family therapist and author of multiple books about marriage, says that many relationships “function with a constant low-grade anger and negative atmosphere.” Much like “trying to live life to the fullest with an infection and fever,” such relationships won’t likely last for a long time if everyone is under constant stress.

Name-calling is a sure way to ruin any marriage. “Derogatory comments can often be perceived as a form of verbal abuse and have negative consequences if the couple decides to get divorced,” says Andriy Bogdanov, CEO of OnlineDivorce, one of the leading online services for preparing divorce filings. “If the injured spouse provides the judge with documented evidence, the other spouse could have difficulties in obtaining custody over children.”

Constant arguing

Verbal fights between loving spouses are a common practice in almost every marriage. For some spouses, daily conflicts are part of everyday life. It doesn’t mean, though, that they are on the brink of divorce.

“It is not a matter of whether conflicts will come; it is how they are dealt with when they occur that will determine the success of your marriage,” explains Errol A. Bennett in ‘How to Tune-Up Your Marriage for Life.’

For example, constructive arguing without derogatory remarks could benefit the relationship if the couple reaches a compromise in the end.

If the fight is inevitable, some psychologists advise against bringing up past grievances and suggest focusing only on the current issue. For example, don’t mention absolutely everything you think your partner is doing wrong if you start arguing about washing the dishes.

Unfortunately, not all couples know how to prevent the conflict from escalating. Everyone secretly desires that the other partner admits they were wrong. The reality is that the chances of such a scenario are close to zero. Thus, the goal of every fight should be to hear and be heard and take steps to resolve the conflict before it snowballs.

Sexual promiscuity

Sexual involvement with other partners outside marriage is common for men and even some women. About 20% of men and 13% of women cheat on their spouses during their relationship, reports the Institute for Family Studies.

The one notable difference between the sexes is that men pursue quantity and avoid forming emotional bonds with the affair partner. On the other hand, women typically choose quality over quantity and develop romantic feelings for the other person.

Neither case makes it any easier to forgive the cheating spouse. On the contrary, infidelity destroys trust between the spouses and leads to divorce in more than one-third of cases.

Taking each other for granted

Not getting enough attention is something that many couples face once the honeymoon phase is over. Unfortunately, it’s also the reason that 34% of marriages fall apart, according to a study published in the Journal of Divorce & Remarriage.

How can you fix the situation? Be the first to make a move. Start with small acts of appreciation. Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Indeed, kind words will immediately improve the recipient’s mood and could be a source of positive emotions for an extended period. Occasional little surprises would also do the trick.

Essentially, it doesn’t matter what you do as long as you spend time and put in some effort to make the other person feel better.

Lack of physical intimacy

Not getting enough sex can cause many other issues to emerge in a marriage. For example, both spouses become disinterested in each other. As a result, one of them could resort to adulterous behavior, develop low self-esteem, and so on.

To save your relationship, try to discuss this issue with your spouse. Men and women have different needs, so try to find a compromise that would suit you both.

And remember that sex alone won’t save your marriage. If it’s not complemented by spiritual intimacy, it will be nothing but a physical exercise.

If you fail to notice the emerging problems in time and fix them, they threaten to bring severe consequences, including marriage breakdown. And while divorce could be a blessing for some couples, others may want to do whatever they can to avoid it.

TagshabitsKillMarriage
Previous Article

Meet Florentyna Agu the Creative Mind behind ...

Next Article

BBNaija’s Frodd spoils himself with a Mercedes ...

0
Shares
  • 0
  • +
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

Related articles More from author

  • Allure WomanWeddings

    Good marriages don’t just happen – Betty Irabor counsels newlyweds

    August 7, 2021
    By Temitope
  • EntertainmentRelationships

    24 Years Of Marriage, Dr. Dre’s Wife Files For Divorce

    June 30, 2020
    By Oluwamuyiwa Oyedele
  • Allure MagazineNews

    Laura Ikeji finally reacts to her much talked court wedding

    January 23, 2017
    By allure1
  • Allure WomanEntertainmentHappinessNewsRelationshipsTrendingWeddings

    Blood Sisters lead actress, Ini Okojie, marries Instagram fan turned lover

    May 21, 2022
    By joy onuorah
  • Allure MagazineNews

    My marriage regrets – Actress, Nkechi Emmanuel

    March 12, 2018
    By allure1
  • Allure MagazineNews

    Actress, Oluwaseyi Edun confirms she’s dating Adeniyi Johnson, showers him with praises

    May 9, 2017
    By allure1
0

  • EntertainmentFashion & StyleNews

    Lupita Nyong’o dazzles in Dior & Fendi at cannes film festival 2018

  • Allure MagazineFashion & StyleFlare dressStyle

    Who wore it better? Stephanie Coker vs Chioma Good Hair

  • Allure MagazineNews

    Nigerian actress, Mercy Aigbe gentry lands another endorsement deal with a fitness company

  • 5312
    Followers
  • 12744
    Likes

Timeline

  • January 26, 2023

    Why I can’t marry an actress – Kelvin Chizzy, Filmmaker 

  • January 26, 2023

    ‘How sex scene with Jim Iyke almost got me expelled from Uni’ – Lilian Afegbai

  • January 26, 2023

    ‘Why you should make a rich woman your life partner’ – Jason Njoku

  • January 26, 2023

    Austin Faani wonders why actresses are not supporting Funke Akindele’s Deputy Governorship ambition

  • January 26, 2023

    Why I’ve never been married – actor Charles Okocha

Categories

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Sign up to receive email updates and to hear what's going on with our magazine!

  • Recent

  • Popular

  • Comments

  • Why I can’t marry an actress – Kelvin Chizzy, Filmmaker 

    By RITA
    January 26, 2023
  • ‘How sex scene with Jim Iyke almost got me expelled from Uni’ – Lilian Afegbai

    By RITA
    January 26, 2023
  • ‘Why you should make a rich woman your life partner’ – Jason Njoku

    By RITA
    January 26, 2023
  • Austin Faani wonders why actresses are not supporting Funke Akindele’s Deputy Governorship ambition

    By RITA
    January 26, 2023
  • Chioma Jesus, Sammie Okposo, Midnight Crew set for #THUGGLA2018

    By RITA
    April 24, 2018
  • American rapper, Kendrick Lamar wins Pulitzer prize for 2017 ‘Damn’ album

    By RITA
    April 17, 2018
  • Afrobeat singer, Seun Kuti drops new album titled ‘Black Times’ 

    By RITA
    April 23, 2018
  • Actor, Yul Edochie declares intention to run for presidency

    By RITA
    April 23, 2018

Entertainment

  • January 26, 2023

    Why I can’t marry an actress – Kelvin Chizzy, Filmmaker 

  • January 26, 2023

    ‘How sex scene with Jim Iyke almost got me expelled from Uni’ – Lilian Afegbai

  • January 26, 2023

    Austin Faani wonders why actresses are not supporting Funke Akindele’s Deputy Governorship ambition

  • January 26, 2023

    Why I’ve never been married – actor Charles Okocha

  • January 26, 2023

    Shakira’s ex, Gerard Piqué shows off new lover after diss track

Follow us