PRAYING AS A COUPLE
Praying as a couple is not very easy to do and except you actually schedule it, and are both committed to it, it almost never happens.
So everyone prays their individual prayers and life continues.
I am not talking about the family devotion time where everyone is present. I am talking about the “just the two of you.” Moments when you can bare your soul and reach out to God to intervene in your marriage or individual situations. This very rarely happens even in the homes where the couple are believers. The norm is to find people praying in agreement with other people who are not part of the home, thereby inadvertently divulging infomation which could have been better contained to outsiders in the name of “please agree with me on this matter”. ..
Let me state that I have absolutely nothing against having a prayer partner other than your spouse, I am just stressing the power behind the unity of marriage and how it can work more powerfully than any other agreement especially concerning the home.
The word of God says “one will put to flight a thousand, two ten thousand” Deut 32:30 but the enemy who understands this more than the children of light ensures that two don’t come together to access the thousands of nos. There was a time when my husband and I will pray together every night but slowly as our schedules changed, we resorted to praying individually and going to bed. It didn’t help too that we had two very different approaches to prayer. We were different in style, duration etc. If my husband hasn’t prayed at least an hour, he doesn’t believe he has prayed. He will spend the first 30minutes at least praising God. He will say it in English and then start all over again in Yoruba before proceeding to requests if any. Meanwhile, I on the other side am a worshipper. I usually sing worship songs in my heart all day long. So the actual prayer session for me should be short – max 30minutes. But that’s when my hubby is just warming up!
So how did we work round this? I communicated my challenge in a most delicate way. Told hubby that I like to be alert when praying not to have dozed off or angry that it’s taking to long or have my mind drifting away. With an understanding man who knows the importance of praying together as a couple, he took no offence and we agreed on the following:
A) Scheduling prayer time so if it’s for 8pm, we ensure we are both ready for that time
B) We don’t pray together every day. We can individually say our prayers and wait for when we have scheduled for praying together
C) Hold vigils as a couple. Arranged and agreed together. That way, we know that we are at it for a while. Of course, prayer points, duration will have been predetermined and agreed.
D) To keep us both alert and praying, we raise prayer points which will be prayed together. We alternate who leads various sessions.
The major benefit of praying like this is that we are in agreement and working towards the same goal. It also helps in even reaching a compromise in our family affairs. “can two walk together except they be agreed?” Amos 3:3.
It’s important to note that this time of praying together is not the time to present your spouse to God for deliverance. You can do that at your private praying time?. Also, even if you are both not Christians, you can both at least agree for your children. A parent’s prayer on a child is very profound and when two parents agree, it’s irreversible. Remember when Isaac prayed for Jacob and Rebecca was mouthing Amen in the background? “May God give you heaven’s dew
and earth’s richness—
an abundance of grain and new wine.
May nations serve you
and peoples bow down to you.
Be lord over your brothers,
and may the sons of your mother bow down to you.
May those who curse you be cursed
and those who bless you be blessed.” Gen 21:28-29. Though the prayers were illegally obtained, it was irreversible “Genesis 27:33
Isaac trembled violently and said, “Who was it, then, that hunted game and brought it to me? I ate it just before you came and I blessed him—and indeed he will be blessed!” Gen 21:33. Like Isaac and Rebecca, two parents with two different agendas, I am not oblivious of the fact that there are couples who have different agendas but one thing I am yet to hear from a warring couple is that they both don’t love or wish their children the very best.
So if praying for your children is the only prayer of agreement you can muster, please go ahead. God honours such.
For those who are single parents by virtue of widowhood, separation or divorce, the Lord understands and sees your position. Just talk ro HIm and He will back up and answer your prayers speedily.
There is no better time than this time of a fast to present your marriage, home and children to the Lord praying in agreement. That shouldnt matter because Fast will end but praying never ends. The word of God enjoins us to pray continually 1Thesa 5.17.
May the Lord hearken unto our prayers in Jesus name. AmenT
Certified Relationship Counsellor and Proffessional therapeutic counsellor