The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord – Proverbs 18:22 (NLT)

It is important to get this fact straight – ‘a man finds a wife, NOT a woman finds a husband’.

Therefore, a single lady, who is of the marriageable age, must position and equip herself to be found by the right man.

Men are the hunters. And so, as a man, it is important for you to choose your target carefully.

After you must have been so convinced that you are ready and well equipped as a man or woman to start a relationship that would lead to marriage, you have to be ready to do some of the followings to start with.

A man should:

• Be ready to get over any form of past rejection, overcome shyness and clear your mind.
• Think about what you will say to her – remember the decency effect (first impression matters a lot).
• Let her know you are interested in her.
• Prepare your conversation – indulge in a conversation that interest her; women like intellectual conversations; talking will break the ice and make her become more comfortable with you. Best way to start a conversation is with a genuine compliment- genuine compliment please. Don’t tell a lie.
• Be bold, but not arrogant – don’t interrupt her and get her attention when you see her.
• Create a conversational connection with her and show her that you are able to understand her, make her see you as romantic partner; lots of women love this.
• Be yourself around her – don’t try to be who you are not.
• Show that you are well groomed and watch out about the basic hygiene; no woman like a man with dirty clothes, body odour or with a smelling breath.
• When conversing – make eye contact with her. Eyes are capable of showing your deepest emotions, and this makes her feel you are truly flowing with her, but watch out to not stare at her.
• Have the right attitude – fearless and not arrogant, convince her that you are confident in your own skin.
• Have self-confidence, sense of humor and self-control.
• Show her that you are a gentleman; not many men from our days are; treat her like a princess, respect her for what she is and compliment her.
• Do not touch her in an offensive way – touch her slightly on her hands and even shoulders.
• Tease her – a woman will be attracted to men who tease and challenge her.
• Be creative – you may buy her a nice gift and be genuine when you give it to her.

A woman:

1. A) Be friendly and approachable.
2. B) Be careful with your appearance. The way you dress allows people to draw the right or wrong conclusion about you.
3. C) Do not play too hard to get but don’t be too easy either
4. D) Comport yourself.
5. E) Irrespective of your age or circumstances, don’t be desperate. Desperation is a huge turn off
6. F) Be intellectually, culturally and socially aware and intelligent. You don’t need to be an expert but you must be able to contribute soundly to conversations.
7. G) Be ambitious, contrary to popular belief, no man wants a liability.
8. H) Be polite and respectful. Outward beauty is certainly not enough. Inner beauty is very necessary.

Lastly, women are attracted to specific, confident traits in men and your behaviour demonstrates them all. So start watching what women actually respond to, not what they say they want. Also, men are also desire certain traits and qualities in their women. So be very careful that you don’t be the girl every man wants to date but no one wants to marry.

For further counselling on your relationship issues, contact:

Tinuola Agbabiaka

Certified Relationship Counsellor & Professional Therapeutic Counsellor

[email protected]