“Who am I?”-Toyosi Etim-Effiong shares her postpartum experience
Postpartum depression is a topic that is yet to be given proper attention in Nigeria; however, women are beginning to talk their experiences to prepare new mothers and also how to deal with it.
While postpartum experiences vary from one woman to another, the need for support cannot be overstated.
Media personality, Toyosi Etim-Effiong, didn’t go through depression, but she felt lost. With a beautiful marriage and baby, Toyosi said she felt purposeless as she wasn’t doing anything but take care of her baby.
Not enough stories about the postpartum mindset so I’d like to share mine.
Lost. Not depressed but lost. Who am I? Why am I here again? After spending months nurturing life and bringing life to the world, it’s only normal that you spend an immense amount of time taking care of the little human you’ve birthed. I stopped caring about me.
It was a slow build not something that happened overnight. All the care I had was divided between husband and baby. I was intent on not making my husband feel like a third wheel as I’d seen people do and of course I cared a lot about my little human. Has she eaten? Is she wet? Why is she crying? She hasn’t smiled in an hour. Nap time. Bath time. Play time. Bed time. Baby, baby, baby. Snap. Snap. Snap. Pictures and videos to friends, pictures and videos to family. Awww she’s so cute. Thank you. Very few how are you?s. Loads of how is baby? —
7 months post-birth with no 9 – 5 or project to give me purpose or at least something to do, I found myself asking, “Who am I again?” Who am I without making reference to anybody else? So yes I’m #DanielsWife and yes I’m mother to a beautiful, dimpled girl but away from them, who am I? What is my gift to this world? What is my purpose? I had forgotten #postpartum
I’d just like to add for all my single sisters, yes marriage is beautiful and children are a wonderful gift from God but take it from me- they don’t give PURPOSE. At least they haven’t for me. There’s a void that my husband and baby(ies) have not and cannot fill so please don’t make marriage and childbirth your ultimate goal in life. Please. I beg you. —-