Comedienne Lepacious Bose has shared an inspiring note on her journey to loosing and maintaining her weight.

 

Talking about how she felt when she was at her heaviest at 201kg, Lepacious Bose said, it was like being stuck in a body bag.

 

According to her, she felt all kinds of sad emotions including having suicidal thoughts.

The first time she lost 95kg, she felt relaxed until she went back to 135kg. It was then she understood that weightloss isn’t a one-off activity, so she started again and since then, she has been on a routine.

For her, maintaining her weight is a matter of life and death as she never wants to go back to being fat again for fear of not being able to come out of it.

The comedienne shared before and after pictures of herself to show how far she has come.

She wrote,

I heard Thursdays are for throw backs so I went way back to look for a woman I used to know….. The thing is I remember her pain, her tears, her frustrations, her insecurities, her rejections, body shaming from even so called friends, the suicidal attempts and much more.

Oh I remember the feeling of being stuck in a body bag in a long dark hole and unable to find a way out, till today I still feel claustrophobic and avoid very crowded places.

That woman was her heaviest at 210kg (still don’t know how I got there), then at my smallest I lost weight to 95kg and I thought yesssssss I can relax now….. that was my biggest mistake! I woke up one day and I was 135kg, I could feel the walls closing on me again, the depression engulfing me, the mental battle pulling me into that deep dark tunnel. It was time to fight back again. Not sure I can ever be 95kg again because after 40 Weightloss is a daunting task.

Today at 108kg I live a routine life, workout often and it’s not because am strong or am disciplined etc…. it’s because I can’t afford to go back to that dark place. Am afraid I may not be able to find my way out the 3rd time. So I press on…. because it is a matter of life and death; that’s why it’s throwback because the only time I will ever see that woman again must be in throw back pictures, NEVER AGAIN IN A MIRROR!!!!! .