Adebukola Abiola Adeyinka is an Architect by training, and a Certified Life Coach by calling. A woman of many parts, she is also a baker, a fashion designer, a seasoned school Administrator and a farmer!

 

Since finding her calling as a certified Master practitioner of Neuro Linguistics Programming, Bibi the Lion in heels as she is fondly called, has been passionate about women living peaceful and purposeful life. Over the years, she has been helping women clean up mental cobwebs that had created clogs, and blockages in their lives. Through daily write up on social media, she inspires, motivates, and gives hope and support to herself and others, who find healing and comfort in her words.
An astute advocate against verbal and emotional abuse, the mother of three is a Counselor at the institute of The Lux Terra Leadership Foundation, a Psycho-spiritual Institute in Abuja, where she counsels physically and emotionally traumatized persons.
She is also the convener of the group, Healing Scares In The Mind.
As the year is still fresh, the time is still right to start all over again not just for persons in abusive relationships, but for every Nigerian who feels stuck and fed up but don’t know how to start all over.

Considering that 2019 was such a rough year for a lot of people, job losses, many suicide cases, depression due to loss of loved ones etc, how does one start all over?
It’s simply by looking back and analyzing where you may need to effect a change and do it differently. Also, one needs to accept the situations as it were, and re-design for better choices this new year.

 

A lot of people are stuck in their ways; as a life coach, how do you get people to change their mind set?
Well, just like I said earlier, one of the best ways to have an effective change in any area of one’s life where he or feels stuck, is to first analyze the existing situation possibly with the help of a coach and if need be, and determine what needs to be changed in this area.
Most times, it starts with the thinking or what you call the mindset that established the initial situation. Then find out if your core values align with this situation that is keeping you stuck.
What a person and his/her coach may need to figure out again is the person’s mind conditioning or what we call programming. How has this person been conditioned to think What are the limiting beliefs that is keeping this individual stuck? These and many more are some of the work to be done before the person on his/her own or with the help of a coach, can effect a long lasting change in any area where he or she feels stuck.

 

As a country, how do we get our leaders to have a new mind set so that we can have different result this year?
Our leaders have to step up their game and do what we call, mindset upgrade. Questions they say are the answers. And, the quality of questions we ask, determine the quality of results that we get. So the questions below if sincerely answered, will surely help the leaders to get different results this year or any other year going forward.What are our core values as a country? Are we being led based on these values? What are the limiting beliefs that are holding us back from achieving as a nation? These and many more needs to be asked.

What mindset would you say is holding the country hostage?
There are so many but let’s look at the sanitation habits of our people for example. People throw garbage or waste carelessly on the streets, all because they believe that there are people being paid with tax payers money to sweep the streets.
There are people who have the mindset that it is the government that will so everything for us. This kind of belief and thinking hampers growth. Unless we begin to take responsibility for our actions, we may not be able to have effective change in our society.
I’ll give another example: there are individual negative traits and habits that we mirror back to the society. A father/mother who tells his children to tell the visitor that he’s not home, is indirectly teaching his children how to lie. That’s how corrupt practices are embedded into the society eventually. So really, change begins with us.

You recently gave a talk on mental cleanup. Who requires a clean up?
Honestly, everyone! A lot of us have one emotional baggage or the other that is holding us back. You have people held back by fear. You have those suffering from depression and the ones that feel so clogged up and mentally stressed out. Someone, that’s feeling so stuck up with a job, depressed, or is in a toxic intimate, work/business relationship and not feeling fulfilled with life issues, or not finding purpose, needs mental clean up. A person that is traumatized and psychologically affected by a significant, emotional experience from childhood needs a mental cleanup or what I call, mental cobwebing.

Do you think people do enough of strategic visioning or we just take one day as it comes?
How can one desire to have a change in life without really envisioning the type of future he/she wants? Without goals, dreams and aspirations, then your future is not assured? Why do you envision the desired future? What do you want in that future? What are the goals? What needs to happen for you to achieve that goal? What are the habits and pattern that gets in the way of achieving these goals? How do you want the future to look like? All these questions will lead us into getting strategies to achieve our envisioned goals and aspirations. I’ll give you a day to day scenario that will drive home my point.
If you’re hungry, and the goal is to eat to quench the hunger. The first question that comes to mind is: what will I eat? And the the next is, how will I cook what I intend to eat? What quantity do I need to cook that will sort me out? More questions can follow. Another that can come to mind is: will it satisfy me and quench my hunger? Then after satisfying all these questions with answers, you move to the actual act of cooking the food.
Let’s take Noodles as the food we intend to use to satisfy this objective ahead of us. Do you know that there are different ways people cook their noodles?
Mrs A has one particular way, while Mrs B has another. And so on and so forth. However, there are smart ways in achieving this objective and goal.
So the question is how smart is your goal? SMART is an acronym for Specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound. These are measures or strategies to be put in place, in achieving your goals that has been envisioned by you.
So really, to have effective, long and lasting change in any area of your life, you have to have strategies in doing so. You can use any of the guides mentioned above, or get a life coach to help you achieve these envisioned goals.

Many of our youths have certain mind sets which are formed from what they read and see on social media about their favourite celebrities. How do we get them to face real life and know the difference?
This is a waiting time bomb about to explode right in our face. Our youths have the mindset of ready made wealth and abundance. They are not ready to do the work and work the work. They are negatively influenced by what they see and hear on social media and TV especially about their favorite artiste. The truth of the matter is, short cut doesn’t pay, and we have to collectively nib this evil right in the bud, by using the same media to effect new thinking pattern.

How has life been as a coach?
Well, it’s been quite a journey for me, very profound and extraordinary. Just like doctors as professionals are not allowed to attend to themselves and should seek other professionals for treatment, the same applies for Coaches, therapist, counselors, and other professionals in this field. I also have my own life issues, and yes, with the help of tools in which I have been able to manage these challenges, I however still seek other professionals in different areas of my life to get instant help and tremendous support. This area is what a lot of people don’t understand. I’ll give you an example: does that mean as a doctor, you won’t fall ill? No, you will. The only advantage is that you’ll be able to identify on time, that you’ve been bugged down with an ailment and be able to get help for your self fast.
Knowing what you know now, are there things you would change about your life?
Oh yes, absolutely! Just like I said in the previous question, there are different areas of my life that I have effected changes in using these amazing life-changing, transformational tools and there’re still some areas I’m working on, and will surely see transformation soon.
I have seen tremendous change in the aspects of personal development which before now was zero. There’s a tool called, the wheel of life. In this wheel, we have many areas or sectors of life that every individual needs to do an assessment on. Some major areas are: money and wealth, dun and adventure, learning and personal development, social life, fitness, mental health and wellness, relationships, work, business and career, then, legacy and spirituality.
So while working on myself and doing a self-assessment based on this life-changing tool, I found out that some areas of my life needed urgent attention, and some needed to be worked on minimally. For example, I had to work on learning and personal development instantly. And as a result, every other areas of my life started to fall in place.
Mind you, this could be something different for some other person. Learning and personal development showed up due to the assessment of my core values.
Another area of my life that I will love to effect instantaneous change in, is fun and adventure. With what l know now as you put it, this is an area that showed up using my core values that I am working on, to change the status quo which by the way is almost non existing now.

What is the best thing that happened for you when you changed your mind set?
Wow! I love this question. One particular thing that changed for me was my thought pattern, habits and behavioral pattern in the area of finances and wealth.
Until I went through a therapy session with a professional coach who helped me to figure out what my mindsets are, I never knew that I had an unconscious limiting belief had held me back and creating a block for me in the growth of my wealth and abundance. I had held the belief that women aren’t supposed to be richer than their husbands, that the love of money is the root of evil, and that I can only have the second best, not the best.
These limiting beliefs had been so huge and so limiting, that it had unconsciously programmed my mindset and my life. Unknown to me, this has made me to work against myself from being wealthy for a long time unto I embraced change.
There are many other women out there who are in this shoe right now. It was the therapy session with my coach that successfully, dealt with these limiting beliefs around building wealth and legacies, using these amazing cutting-edge tools. I have been seeing significant, amazing and boundary-smashing results from the moment my mindset was cobwebbed, re-programmed and upgraded for deep, lasting, transformational growth.
Until people begin to identify the mindsets, habits and behaviors that’s creating these blocks, they can’t get any profound results in any area of their lives. These and many more keep them stuck.
I am very happy that I have been able to sort this out. From my pain, I created a purpose wherein I am able to manifest abundance, for myself, and others that are ready for change and positive growth.
For this, there is a design process that gave birth to; 5 simple steps and strategies that any body can use to instantly get profound and long-lasting results to build their finances and wealth called, the Money Blueprint. I will be glad to help anybody with this strategy session to help them create similar, long, life-changing results in the area of wealth and any other area of their lives.

 

By Jemi Ekunkunbor