Metropolitan Police officer,  Khafi Kareem, came into Big Brother Naija house in 2019 hoping to use it as a platform for personal development and to learn much more about Nigeria. Her path crossed with Gedoni Ekpata, a budding fashion designer who himself had come into the house hoping to use the platform to promote his fashion business. In the midst of realising their individual dreams, Cupid struck. And the rest they say is history.

In December 2019, the vivacious and happy-go Khafi, announced her engagement to Gedoni on her instagram handle stating “I said yes.”

Against all odds, the couple took their  relationship a notch higher, when Khafi again said, “I do” to Gedoni at a civil wedding at the Ikoyi Marriage Registry, Lagos, on Thursday, September 24, 2020. The couple joins the likes of Elizabeth and Kelvin Chuwang-Pam and Bambam and Teddy A who found love on set of the Big Brother reality show.

In celebration of Valentine’s Day today, the couple shares their love story, sweetly made in BBNaija.

Gedoni Ekpata

…Her voice attracted me first

Housemates come into Big Brother House with different expectations. Did you envisage finding love and why?

No. Love was the last thing on my mind. I went in with one thing in mind; and that was to promote my fashion business.

What first attracted you to Khafi?

 Her voice, that was what made me look up, looked again and again and still looking. I also noticed how she was particular about sharing love.

 It took you quite a while to get into the relationship. What was your biggest fear and who was your biggest distraction in the house? 

  Yea, it took me a while to get into the relationship because I didn’t understand why my heart was feeling the way it felt; so there was an internal battle between my heart and head.

My biggest fear was the “game.” BBNaija house was a simulated environment and I was constantly reminded that it was a game and so, I had troubles separating what was real from what was not.

What specific qualities in her confirmed that this is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?

  It’s an avalanche of qualities, I doubt if you have space for them; her beauty, intelligence, voice, her fashion sense (she had clothes and shoes I would never look at that fascinated me),  and lots more.

What challenges did you both face to make it to marriage?

  We faced so much; from societal pressure to the pandemic and the loss of my brother in law. In all, God has been steadfast.

How does it feel to be in love?

It’s a beautiful feeling, A feeling that I can’t live without.

What was your parents’ reactions to the marriage proposal?

They were surprised and very excited and super happy for both of us

Was tribe and distance a barrier at any time?

Tribe surprisingly has never been a barrier and we’ve learned to some extent, how to manage distance.

How has married life changed you?

  Married life hasn’t changed me much but given me the beauty of doing life with someone right next to me at every turn. It has also made me more focused and directional in purpose.

Now a married man, what’s your greatest fear?

 No fears as a married man; instead, I’m very expectant and open to positive possibilities.

It is often said that celebrities’ marriages don’t last, what do you intend to do differently to hold forth yours?

   I live and love a day at a time. Everyday I renew and reaffirm my choice. 

 What do you look forward to now?

A world of endless possibilities

Khafi Ekpata

…Gedoni sought my hand the old fashion way

Housemates come into Big Brother House with different expectations, what were yours at the initial stage?

 I went into the Big Brother house with one expectation, that it would be a personal development experience for me; that I would grow, learn and find out so much more about myself and especially about Nigeria. 

Before being in the house, I had not spent more than a few weeks in Nigeria at once. In fact my time in the house was the longest period I had ever spent in Nigeria. So I really wanted to find out more about Nigerian ways of life and the people. I had never lived with people before apart from my family and I lived by myself in London so adding that to the cultural aspect, I expected that it was altogether going to be a  very strange time for me. So I really just took it as a personal growth experience, that was my one expectation.

You had your eyes on Gedoni quite early. What first attracted you to himi? Was it love at first sight? 

We had eyes on each other quite early. What first attracted me to him was his calmness and his centredness. He was just like an anchor in a crazy ocean that was the BB house. It wasn’t love at first sight but I would say it was love at first (near) eviction which we both went through together. I had been holding back from allowing myself to like him too much up until that point. But when we both survived the eviction, it was then that I thought okay, God wants me to do this journey with this guy. At the time I thought it was the journey of the house, I didn’t realise it would be the journey of life that we would end up doing together!

What specific qualities confirmed that Gedoni is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with?

I believe very much in people being whole before they marry or before they meet their partner or spouse. I’ve never been a fan of the term “my other half” because I believe that God makes us whole whether we are single or in a relationship. However I would say that 

Gedoni fills in the gaps in my personality and fills in gaps in my character that I do not have. He is just my peace. And, peace for me was the biggest confirmation.

What challenges did you both face to make it to marriage?

The main challenge was the pandemic which a lot of people have also faced. We weren’t able to do an actual wedding ceremony like we wanted but I do hope we’ll be able to do it in the future once Corona is gone, and our families and friends can travel again. I do also hope however that we would be able to inspire others who perhaps, were pausing getting married because of the pandemic. 

We have to ask ourselves: who are you getting married for, what is the reason you are getting married? Is it for your family and friends or is it for you and your spouse to be? Once you clarify that, you are able to know that okay, even if we just do the registry or the blessing, then we can still get to celebrate later. Why delay the beginning of forever with your love?

How does it feel to be in love?

It feels incredible to be in love. It is just such a special thing to know that you have your special person with whom you are going to do life together. There is just an anchor that it gives you, especially when your partner is your best friend. The key thing is to know that your partner is human, will make mistakes, will go through ups and downs but that should not shake your love for each other. Also, a partner can never take the place of God in your life and vice versa.So, we would always keep God first. Knowing that I love God first enables me to love him even more and even better and it continues the growth of our love.

Is Khafi romantic?

I try to be but I think my idea of romance is probably a bit different. I love being romanced and spoilt with things like, going out for dinner, receiving flowers because I’m a very girly girl. But in regards to being romantic for my husband, I do like to get things done and give him a treat too. We all have different love languages. For  example, my love languages include words of affirmation and spending quality time with each other. So, I find being given those things romantic and I express romance in those ways too. But one of my husbands way of expressing love is through gifts; so I truly sorcière when he gives me a gift, and I express my love back through gifts.  That’s my idea of romance, speaking each other’s love language.

Does marriage make you feel fulfilled?

Marriage just makes me feel like I have a bigger mission and purpose to fulfil now and with someone to facilitate it with. I really worked on myself as a single to grow in the Lord, to grow in my gifts, and grow in my talents. So, now, it’s just adjusting to being fulfilled with your partner, his goals and dreams too, not just your own.

What were your parents’ reactions to the marriage proposal?

They were part of the planning for it to happen. They knew before me. I was literally the last person to know, but I’m glad it happened that way.  Gedoni had the respect and decency to do the old fashion thing-seek my hand from the one who raised me. I’m so happy he did. Our parents supported us all the way and, had nothing but pure happiness in response to the proposal.

How has married life changed you?

Marriage hasn’t changed me but I think people expect it to. I feel like the moment you get married, people all of a sudden, think; I can’t ask her to hang out, or to do certain things, or call her the way they used to. There are definitely boundaries and levels of respect that should be maintained: but I’m still Khafi, still fun and still exciting! Marriage for me is a beginning, not an end point. 

Now a married woman, what’s your greatest fear? 

Not fulfilling our God given purpose on earth. I feel like marriage is for purpose, not just to look pretty in photos or make a nice family. There is no marriage in heaven. The reason for marriage is for here on earth. My greatest fear is missing that. 

Have you decided on the number of kids to have?

All we know is that we want twins by God’s grace. My brother has twins and I just see the joy they bring. It is so lovey to have children grow up with each other, and go through their youth together. They have a playmate that they are born with straight out of the womb. So the number of kids we have would most likely be determined by that. If twins straight away, I would end it there. But if not, I’m sure we will continue going until they come.

What do you look forward to now?

Conquering the world!