Forced sex is not exciting!
Forced sex is an act that lovers agree to in order for peace to reign in the home- situation where one partner feels obligated, coerced or less satisfied. In this situation, there is willingness but no sexual desire.
In many marriages, there tends to be several months or years of sex by obligation. “I’m not in the mood to make love, but I will do it anyway so that my spouse will stop pressuring me.’’
This might work for a while: but consequently, one of the partners will get tired of lack of genuine intimacy and begin to drift apart emotionally.
A lover denied sex, usually responds by choosing more practicable way- they often think they can get their spouse to participate by winning them over with good deeds/passionate display, not knowing that natural reaction from the detached spouse will be more sexually exciting. Manipulation, silent treatment, withholding sex as a way of punishing partners, most times, end in undermining things that could have been beneficial to one another.
Most modern ladies have an almost, exclusively romantic opinion of sex. As such, it should always be mutually desired and equally satisfying. Anything other than this is not acceptable. The simple truth is that, one spouse wants it more often, while the other partner could not care less about sex and this is not romantic.
Instead of allowing sex to be an obligation for romance, let it be an incentive for it. Yes, your spouse is annoying you? Make love, turn friction to passion and enjoy the sparks that comes with it. Absence of intercourse is a usual tale in most marriages and it’s equally disheartening especially, in a situation where a partner solely goes through the act alone.
While some may argue otherwise, the truth is that, sex was designed by God to be a physically deep rendezvous between a man and his wife. No wonder, partners make use of their sixth sense and immediately see to it that such encounter is reduced to nothing more than just an obligation; a situation where your husband/wife is begrudgingly obliging, rather than vulnerably presenting his/her whole self.
couples should look for ways to please one another otherwise, the neglected spouse becomes vulnerable to outside forces.
Obligatory sex must never be compromised in any marriage because, it could lead to devastation. Change may be hard and awkward, even, engulfing, but it can be achieved especially, if it is that type of change that can strengthen your marriage.
Go for it as your relationship is worth it. Don’t take a back seat thinking things will get better, never play with something as precious as the bond with the man/woman you fell in love with and entered matrimony with.
Sex is better when desired, but there could get to a stage in one’s life when these desires will slow down. For instance, when the children are still very young, financial stress and when couples are exhausted. Routine sex is never the real thing when done out of duty; it might work for a short but not for long period. Instead, sex by decision can work as this has to do with both of you making plans for what’s best for your sexual relationship. This has got to be as good for her as it is for the man.
Couples that honour their matrimonial bed, will both end up benefitting sexually. Make a shift from forced sex to sex by mutual decision.
My prayer is that, somehow, spouses will move mutually towards healing, strengthening their marriage, using sexual intimacy.