By Adesuwa Ewoigbokhan

When a man is stripped of his financial security and sexual intimate relationships, his true nature often emerges.

As long as life is good, with money flowing in and sexual intimacy fulfilling his emotional needs, he may appear to be a loving partner, a devoted father, and a responsible member of society.

However, when these external props are removed, his authentic self may be revealed in all its complexity.

Without the cushion of financial stability, a man’s desperation, frustration, anger, and depression may surface, leading him to engage in behaviours that are violent, wicked, or heartless.

The absence of sex can also expose underlying emotional vulnerabilities, causing him to lash out or become withdrawn: this transformation can be shocking especially to his spouse who knew him only when he had money and sexual intimacy.

Oftentimes, his wife and even his children may wonder what happened to the husband/father they once knew, and adored, why wondering how he has become so bitter and resentful.

One possible explanation for this change is that societal expectations of masculinity can contribute to a man’s reaction to losing financial stability and intimacy.

Traditional notions of masculinity often emphasise the importance of being strong, stoic, and self-sufficient so when a man is unable to meet these expectations, he may feel emasculated and angry, leading him to lash out at those around him.

Furthermore, the pressure to conform to these expectations can prevent men from expressing their emotions and vulnerabilities, making it more difficult for them to cope with challenges in a healthy way.

Being stripped of financial stability and sex can also reveal underlying issues such as insecurity, low self-esteem, and a lack of emotional intelligence. When a man is no longer able to provide for his family or fulfill his partner’s emotional needs, he may feel like a failure, leading to feelings of shame and inadequacy.

These feelings can sometimes manifest in destructive behaviours, such as domestic violence, substance abuse or aggression, as the man tries to cope with his emotions.
In some cases, self-awareness and personal growth can help mitigate the negative effects of losing financial stability and sexual intimacy: when he’s able to recognise and express his emotions, he is better equipped to cope with challenges and develop healthier relationships.
By acknowledging his vulnerabilities and limitations, he can work on building his emotional intelligence, and develop a more positive coping mechanisms. This way, he will be creating a compassionate environment for everyone!