Continued from last week…

CAREER: Be ambitious. Pursue your career relentlessly.

Power & Position are very attractive. If you are female, ignore those who believe you will be a threat to men. A man who is threatened by your growth, ambition or success is not man enough for you and you shouldn’t be with such a man. Don’t bury or reduce your potential because of someone you are yet to meet.

BUSINESS: Work hard and build a solid business structure which can hold its own anywhere. Build up a strong financial base so you will not be a liability to anyone.

LIFESTYLE: Travel, Spa treatment, relax and make the best of your single state when you are only answerable to yourself and God. Life is too short to live it feeling morose or shortchanged.

COUPLE

As a couple, Hubby and I have a sit- down every end of the year for our appraisal talk which births set targets we run with through the year. It’s never an easy one as it’s a time of the real talk. A time to lay it down straight and tell it as it is. Time to also agree on areas of shortcomings and ways of improvement. This helps in setting realistic goals for the incoming year

The reality of life is that without set goals and appraisals, growth cannot be effectively measured. It’s amazing how people who use these growth measurement tools at their various places of work fail to implement the same in their homes.

As we assessed the year, our goals; and objectives set at the beginning of the year and where we are right now, it is clear we need to change strategy. We recalled a few projects that worked for us and a lot that didn’t; however just because we agreed majorly on most of them, finger pointing and blame game was very minimal. Working together is one of the key strengths of a thriving couple. If you don’t work together, you run a great risk of working against each other.

Find below a few guidelines for you as a couple

BONDING: Make time out for your spouse. You cannot be too busy with each other. Remember you have a family to build and that is your first ministry and not your secular work or church. If possible, agree on “talk days or time” when you will both seat together as a couple or family and just talk about everything. If possible, you may choose a topic and you will be amazed at how much you will either learn from each other’s view or perspective or how much more you will understand your children. If possible, you may also have informal one on one dates with your spouse and children. It doesn’t have to be anything heavy or pocket draining but just an opportunity to bond. Those moments are usually priceless but sadly, a lot of people latch on to this too late – when either the family is too disillusioned to care or the children are formed and have gone on with their lives. If you have a chance to do it now, please do it. Do not allow any secular job or church work or parties to rob you of moments to build and bond with your family.

COMMUNICATION: Talk, Talk, Talk! About everything and anything. Find time to seat together as a couple to talk. You can never talk too much as a couple. It’s a great way of building trust and transparency between you and deciding on what happens in your home without the interference or influence of third parties. Communication is one of the greatest tools available to build your home-use it. Talk about everything. Real talk. No innuendos or sarcasm. No name calling or blame games. Just be real. Speak from your heart. Speak words that will minister to your spouse’s soul and not words that will wound.

By Tinuola Agbabiaka, Certified Relationship Counsellor & Professional Therapeutic Counsellor