Vanguard Allure

Top Menu

  • Vanguard

Main Menu

  • Home
  • Allure Magazine
    • Features
    • Magazine
    • Profiles
  • Allure TV
  • Celebration
    • Fashion & Style
    • Weddings
    • Lifestyle
    • Events
  • Wellbeing
    • Allure Woman
    • Healthy Living
    • Beauty
  • Happiness
    • Food
    • Shopping
    • Travel
    • Relationships
    • Career
  • News
  • Vanguard

logo

Vanguard Allure

  • Home
  • Allure Magazine
    • Vanguard Personality Of The Year Awards 2022

      January 29, 2023
      0
    • Ruky Ogbetuo: From Fashion Writing To Prolific Designer

      January 21, 2023
      0
    • Bisola Alabi: Tech Savvy

      January 15, 2023
      0
    • Wumi Jubril - Providing Ultimate Wellness Experience

      January 13, 2023
      0
    • Celebrities Share their New Year’s Resolutions with us

      January 2, 2023
      0
    • EZINNE DORA KAYODE-----Excelling in a man’s world

      January 2, 2023
      0
    • Gbemi and Toolz -On Career Path and Christmas

      December 25, 2022
      0
    • NGO trains women, PWDs in Mushin on funds sourcing for SMEs

      December 22, 2022
      0
    • Stakeholders call for more women's participation in political leadership positions

      December 19, 2022
      0
    • Features
    • Magazine
    • Profiles
  • Allure TV
  • Celebration
    • Fashion & Style
    • Weddings
    • Lifestyle
    • Events
  • Wellbeing
    • Allure Woman
    • Healthy Living
    • Beauty
  • Happiness
    • Food
    • Shopping
    • Travel
    • Relationships
    • Career
  • News
    • Joke Silva joins AGN Board of Trustees

      Joke Silva joins AGN Board of Trustees as first female member

      February 2, 2023
      0
    • Singer, Simi launches children clothing line

      Singer, Simi launches children clothing line

      February 2, 2023
      0
    • Charles George, the King of England, has asked Justin Welby, the archbishop of Canterbury, to mediate a settlement between his estranged sons Williams and Harry.

      King Charles brings Archbishop Of Canterbury to resolve dispute between Williams, Harry

      February 2, 2023
      0
    • How Regina Daniels replaced Georgina Ibeh's stolen gadgets with new ones

      How Regina Daniels replaced Georgina Ibeh's stolen gadgets with new ones

      February 2, 2023
      0
    • Nigerians blast Ka3na for faking pregnancy

      January 30, 2023
      0
    • Patoranking, Gbenga Laolu, Others Thrill At Vanguard Personality Of The Year Awards

      January 29, 2023
      0
    • Austin Faani wonders why actresses are not supporting Funke Akindele's Deputy Governorship ...

      January 26, 2023
      0
    • Mixed reactions as LASU bars students with indecent dressing from class

      January 24, 2023
      0
    • Iyabo Ojo warns Nigerians to vote wisely ahead of election

      January 19, 2023
      0
  • Why I was worried when Banky-W revealed his political ambition – Adesua

  • Wakanow appoints Olateru-Olagbegi Group VP Marketing

  • Kano court annuls Ganduje’s daughter’s marriage

  • Family releases funeral arrangements for AMAA founder, Peace Osigwe

  • Joke Silva joins AGN Board of Trustees as first female member

LifestyleRelationships
Home›Celebration›Lifestyle›Dangers of having an emotional affair

Dangers of having an emotional affair

February 25,2019
Share:

“Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall” 1 Cor 10:12

The word of God is full of instructions on the relationship between married couples and it is very clear that sexual relationships between a man and a woman, should only exist in a marriage between a couple.

It would, therefore, have been safe to assume that adultery does not exist in the body of Christ and such occurrences are rarely heard of in Christian homes. However, with the news and emails that occasionally filter in, we know that it does exist. In actual fact, a lot more than we know.

Many are of the opinion that these things cannot happen to them and only happens to other people.

You hear words like “that would never happen to me (us), “we never meant this to happen”, “I never thought this would happen” but it did. The question then would be, why do these affairs occur in the church, where the word of God is being preached daily? Or why does it sometimes happen to the very people who preach the gospel?

While we may be quick, as usual, to attribute everything to the devil, the truth is that it is the devil in us that we feed when we sin. Let us remember that while temptations may come, the word of God tells us that “there hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” 1 Cor 10:13. In other words, you will be tempted, I will be tempted but there is always a way of escape available. All we need to do is look out for it and grab it!

Falling into the sin of adultery is a lot more tricky for a Christian (even the very good ones can fall if they are not careful). It almost always starts innocently. It doesn’t look harmful. Just exactly how the enemy comes in -subtly. And more often than not, the very beginning of a physical affair in the church or in the life of a Christian is via an emotional affair!

An emotional affair starts innocently. A hug, a time set apart to talk, a counselling session, a home visit, a lift in the car from church, a phone call, text message etc. While most of these acts are not bad, it is the inability to draw the line i.e. when to stop that is the problem. It is the continuity of these acts that invoke emotions between the two parties involved which may eventually lead to an emotional affair.

Emotional affairs are equally as damaging as a physical affair and sometimes more so because an emotional affair starts with the two parties being “just friends” which eventually evolves into something more stronger as they begin to bond, get to know each other more and confide in each other about their spouse(s), not only is the marital trust broken, and sexual tension begin to build up between the two individuals. It only takes a matter of time before it progresses into a sexual affair. This is actually the reason Christians who indulge are way past caring and would do anything to carry on these acts though they understand the wrath of God and the consequences of their actions.

One of the main reasons an emotional affair occurs in a marriage is usually due to the absence of emotional intimacy in the marriage. Unfortunately, intimacy is always linked to only sex! And that shouldn’t be. Yes, there is the physical intimacy however what qualifies the physical intimacy is actually the emotional one. A couple who are emotionally connected will most likely enjoy a better physical intimacy than the couple who lack emotional intimacy.

A couple must be able to talk to each other and confide in one another without the fear of being ridiculed, put down or judged. A couple must be free to express their fears, hopes and aspirations without the information divulged being used as a weapon at a later date. Once, both parties in a marriage are emotionally connected, there will be no need to talk to/confide in someone else than the spouse.

The dangerous thing about emotional affairs is that, it is usually someone within close proximity and easily accessible, which is the main reason most emotional affairs are with either close family friends, neighbours, colleagues and/or co-workers.

Hugging the opposite sex chest to chest in the name of Christ is a no-no.

While giving the opposite sex a lift once may be okay depending on the circumstances, making it a routine is not acceptable.

Visiting the opposite sex at home alone in the name of house fellowship or follow up should be discouraged.

Counselling the opposite sex should either be done with open doors or with a third party close by.

Constant Lunch dates with a particular co-worker of the opposite sex should be discouraged.

While the list is inexhaustible, it is advisable to be on the watch out for yourself and your spouse. Guard your heart, guard your marriage. Your relationship with someone of the opposite sex may seem innocent, however, if your spouse is not happy with it, it’s better to cut it off. After all, you should strive to please your spouse above others.

The Lord will help us all.

 

Tinuola Agbabiaka
Certified Relationship Counsellor & Professional Therapeutic Counselor
[email protected]

TagsdangerEmotional AffairRelationshipTinu Agbabiaka
Previous Article

Look of the day: Agatha

Next Article

#AllureWomanQuoteOfTheDay: Stop making excuses- Olajumoke Adenowo

0
Shares
  • 0
  • +
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

Related articles More from author

  • LifestyleRelationships

    MARRIAGE, INFIDELITY AND KEEPING YOUR SANITY 

    April 15, 2019
    By allure1
  • EntertainmentRelationships

    Don’t go through the phones of your partner if they are fine- Music sensation, Chidinma

    July 2, 2018
    By RITA
  • Allure MagazineNews

    I regret not having a serious relationship before fame – Rapper CDQ

    January 29, 2018
    By allure1
  • Allure MagazinemusicNews

    Jennifer Lopez and her ”beau” reportedly call it quits

    August 25, 2016
    By allure1
  • HappinessRelationships

    Maje Ayinda: How I’m dealing with my failed marriage to Toke Makinwa

    June 9, 2019
    By RITA
  • News

    Best relationship advisers on social media take worst crap outside – Nkechi Blessing

    September 9, 2021
    By Temitope
0

  • Allure Woman

    Be Motivated! How Nigerian Dancer, Kaffy did half of her Secondary school at home

  • Allure MagazineNews

    Mortuary attendants seize corpse at graveside over N10k undertaker fees

  • Allure MagazineNewsUncategorized

    Tuface makes a case for his planned nationwide protest, Gov Fayose supports him

  • 5312
    Followers
  • 12744
    Likes

Timeline

  • February 3, 2023

    Why I was worried when Banky-W revealed his political ambition – Adesua

  • February 3, 2023

    Wakanow appoints Olateru-Olagbegi Group VP Marketing

  • February 3, 2023

    Kano court annuls Ganduje’s daughter’s marriage

  • February 2, 2023

    Family releases funeral arrangements for AMAA founder, Peace Osigwe

  • February 2, 2023

    Joke Silva joins AGN Board of Trustees as first female member

Categories

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Sign up to receive email updates and to hear what's going on with our magazine!

  • Recent

  • Popular

  • Comments

  • Adesua Etomi, wife of singer-turned-politician, Bankole Wellington, commonly known as Banky W, has said that she was first disturbed when her husband revealed his political ambitions.

    Why I was worried when Banky-W revealed his political ambition – Adesua

    By joy onuorah
    February 3, 2023
  • Wakanow appoints Olateru-Olagbegi Group VP Marketing

    Wakanow appoints Olateru-Olagbegi Group VP Marketing

    By joy onuorah
    February 3, 2023
  • Kano court annuls Ganduje's daughter's marriage

    Kano court annuls Ganduje’s daughter’s marriage

    By joy onuorah
    February 3, 2023
  • Family releases funeral arrangements for AMAA founder, Peace Osigwe

    Family releases funeral arrangements for AMAA founder, Peace Osigwe

    By joy onuorah
    February 2, 2023
  • Chioma Jesus, Sammie Okposo, Midnight Crew set for #THUGGLA2018

    By RITA
    April 24, 2018
  • American rapper, Kendrick Lamar wins Pulitzer prize for 2017 ‘Damn’ album

    By RITA
    April 17, 2018
  • Afrobeat singer, Seun Kuti drops new album titled ‘Black Times’ 

    By RITA
    April 23, 2018
  • Actor, Yul Edochie declares intention to run for presidency

    By RITA
    April 23, 2018

Entertainment

  • February 3, 2023

    Why I was worried when Banky-W revealed his political ambition – Adesua

  • February 2, 2023

    Joke Silva joins AGN Board of Trustees as first female member

  • February 2, 2023

    How Regina Daniels replaced Georgina Ibeh’s stolen gadgets with new ones

  • January 30, 2023

    Oge Obasi’s ‘Mami Wata’ earns Sundance Film Award

  • January 30, 2023

    Actor, Junior Pope loses valuables to Delta robbers

Follow us