By Adesuwa Ewoigbokan

Explosive orgasm is not a yardstick for enjoyable and satisfying love making. However, it is perceived to be a defining factor in super-satisfying sex for ladies. This is according to a 2016 study about the female orgasm published in Socio Affective Neuroscience and Psychology.

Helping Your Woman Achieve Orgasm

Whereas, on the other hand, when intercourse is constantly void of orgasm, this can create a state of being weary and restless through lack of interest and thought of never getting around it.

World over, ladies and guys who have experienced orgasm will tell you that the sensation is not like any other feeling known to man; which means that God alone created orgasm. The Almighty is not stingy in this regard as he designed sexual pleasure for man and his wife.

It can be quite frustrating for couples if the woman is always struggling to climax during copulation. This could be caused by self-esteem, anxiety, exhaustion and stress, to mention but a few. Below are some of the lifestyle factors that can impact orgasmic fun for women.

•Foreplay –This can never be over-emphasized and quickies can happen if you are both aroused, and your genitals primed for action. If not, foreplay helps the genitals; without adequate foreplay, sex can be painful or boring. Foreplay can include anything from saucy texts, hand jobs to oral, spanking and anything else that feels playful, sensual or sexual.

•Have a talk –The truth is, no two women are exactly the same when it comes to how they want to be touched. “Every single body is different and wants different things. Intimacy is built on learning your partner’s turn-on and their preferred methods of stimulation.” What works for one person may be uncomfortable for another. Clear communication about what feels good, and what does not, is essential to pleasurable sex that leads to orgasm. When asking your lover about her sexual desires and needs, be sure to really listen to the answers so you can create the ultimate experience for her.

• Stimulate her mind –“Female orgasms are closely tied to mental and relational factors,” says Jenni Skyler, certified sex therapist, sexologist, and licensed marriage and family therapist for Adam & Eve. This means, many women often need to be in the right mindset with a person who makes her feel comfortable, to be able to surrender herself to an orgasm. Let the arousal mood build up, and avoid rushing into penetration no matter how honey you may be. “Time to orgasm is directly connected to the mindset and the arousal buildup.”

• Stir up other erogenous spots –Majority of women can orgasm through erogenous zone stimulation only.  Spending ten to twenty minutes on non genital body parts, will help to excite her as she has a better chance at attaining optimum pleasure. You can try kissing, teasing and caressing her neck, ears, breasts, nipples and inner thighs before going for direct genital touch. Every woman has different preferences. So, always be sure to ask her what she likes.

• Concentrate on clitoral stimulation – It’s key to making a girl achieve orgasm.  Go for the right positions such as, woman on top- the best sex style to maximize clitoral stimulation especially if she touches herself while riding you. However, man penetrating while lying down with her legs in the air, can promote a strong cervical orgasm.

•Play with sex toys –This can be referred to as the “hearing aid for the clitoris” because vibrators can help speed the Act as it provides more intense orgasms that manual or oral stimulation may not offer. Also, experiment with different kinds of pleasure products and sensations before, during, or after vaginal sex to stimulate the clitoris, and inspire maximum pleasure and even multiple orgasms

•Make use of enough lubricant – She may get wet naturally when turned on but, to play safe, it is usually a good idea to use a high-quality intimate lubricant product as well;  especially when it is penetrative sex. If her natural lubricant wears off, which is normal, lube will help avoid tears and reduce friction.

Orgasm does not have to be the end product of making love. Though great, it is equally important you care about your spouse having fun during the act. However, do not overemphasize orgasm; it can put too much pressure on both the giver and receiver and ultimately, sabotage the whole experience. Instead of making it the center point, just relax and focus on pleasure. When you do this, the orgasm emerges as a surprising and delightful byproduct.  Your wife finally getting from point A to point O makes the process an enjoyable ride for everyone involved.

On a lighter note, orgasms are always great and this may be the reason everyone is on this planet earth.

So get out there and achieve yours!