As shocking as it may sound, men are not the only gender that can be abusive in marriage. Ladies too are equally abusive.

The woman is usually the one that is known to be the victim when we think of domestic violence. However, there are men that are being abused by their wives that we don’t get to hear about.

One reason outsiders don’t get to hear about men being abused is because he’s ashamed of his wife’s assaults, and even more shamed by the society for not being able to subdue, or put her in check. Such husbands are seen as wimps and for that reason,they do not discuss it publicly.

All the same, note that you can get help and break free from an abusive partner regardless  of your situation.

It is very vital you are aware that you’re not alone as a victim of abusive relationships. Abuse of men happens far more often than one might expect in marriages and this cuts across men from all cultures, and all walks of life, irrespective of age or occupation. 

Studies have shown that as many as one in three victims of domestic violence are male but, most times, are reluctant to speak out or report the abuse because they feel embarrassed and fear that no one such as the law enforcement will believe them, or are scared that their spouse will take further revenge on them.

An abusive lover can hit, kick, bite, punch, spit, throw things or destroy your possessions (to make up for any difference in strength), and may even attack you while asleep or otherwise, catch you by surprise. The possibility of an abuser using a weapon, such as a gun or knife, or striking you with an object, or threatening your children is quite high.

Domestic abuse is usually all about physical violence, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse. It can be just as damaging too since your wife can verbally abuse you, belittle you, or humiliate you in front of friends, colleagues, family or on social media. They can equally be very possessive, act jealous or harass you with accusations of being unfaithful. Including taking possession of your car keys or medications, control freak; where you go and who you see, how you spend money, or deliberately defaulting on joint financial obligations.

She can go an extra mile to make false allegations about you to your friends, employer or the police and look for other ways to manipulate/isolate you.

An abuser will always threaten to leave you and prevent you from seeing your children if you decide to  report the abuse to the necessary authority.

There’s a high tendency you may face a shortage of resources, a lack of understanding from friends, family, and legal obstacles, if trying to get custody of your kids from an abusive wife and mother.

 In all these, you can actually still overcome the challenges and violence, by going through the appropriate quarters like,  threatening to inform friends, family, colleagues or neighbours.

Most of the time, husbands may really feel that they have to stay in that marriage because of the shame of being unable to stand up for themselves. Some feel they have failed in their role as a man/husband/father while others worry they will have difficulty being believed by the authorities. This is coupled with the fact that their abuse will be minimized because they are men. The situation is made even worse as there’s few or no resources to specifically help abused  husbands. As a result, they prefer to live in denial just as with female domestic violence victims.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY

…TO BE CONTINUED