By Adesuwa Ewoigbokhan

Couple Kissing

Sex is something we all want to have more of,  we want to try new styles, act out our very  own fantasies as it could be fun and recreational. Copulation is meant to be enjoyable, pleasure- filled experience and this can reduce stress  if you able to achieve orgasm. Hence, sex time should be sex time.
You have got a superb, gorgeous body, you could be slim or overweight and feel very uneasy during love making.  Whichever category you find yourself, you have got to have sex or at least give it a try as you do not have an inch idea of what you might be missing. For most people, it is not about the actual act that is the issue. It is that idea of being completely naked in front of your spouse, seeing all the flaws, scars, stretch marks and  tummy scared skin. With everything in the open, if you don’t have sexual self confidence, it won’t be amusing. Seeing these every time, makes you dwell on them even when you are getting hot and steamy under the bed sheets. Some people cannot indulge in eroticism without getting intoxicated or switching the light off because they believe that their bodies should look like that of super models they see on pages of fashion magazines.
Ladies, love yourselves for you are beautiful. Be kind, pamper and show your body a lot of love as you are who you believe you are.  Just as it is impossible to find true love with another person except you show love to yourself, the same it is for you to find that lasting sexual spark with someone else. If you really do not feel good about your self, do have a chat with your spouse and let him know what you are dealing with internally, as this can sometimes lead to difficulties in intimacy.
Truth be said, ladies always yearn to have a super sexy body, but you know that the man who is in love with you will look beyond that. Note that chemistry is not all about body shape and proportions. You  are sexually compatible with your partner due to hormones, emotions and intricacies of intimate interactions. Once you are connected that is it. It is really more of what your body can do, and how it relates with that of your partner that has a lasting impact.
Sex is seen as complicated but, there are ways one can give the body the much deserved eroticism. When you make love, it’s because you and your man wants it. Your personal desire and your need as a woman, should be uppermost. Do not copulate because you want to please your guy, also don’t involve in sexual activities that you are not comfortable with. Ensure that, whenever you decide to indulge in the act, it will be for your pleasure as sex is never a one way thing. Have good knowledge of your body, know what works for you, where you want to be touched,  tell your partner because when it has to do with sex, the utmost goal of majority of ladies is to achieve orgasm.
Do not stress over your look, just focus on giving yourself pleasure as your partner is not thinking of the excess fats in your body. He may not be paying attention or noticing the little things you are self conscious of. Communicate with your guy before, during and after the act;  let him know what  you enjoy most or what turns  you on as this could be the real turn on if you share your sexual fantasies  and needs. Never fake  orgasm as it is achievable! Don’t fret if it is not forth coming, though it can sound as an option at that moment. It can be less awkward, if you could just tell your partner. If not, you will be preventing your man from becoming a better lover unknowingly and yourself from attaining orgasm. Any good lover will very much want his woman to achieve orgasm. The more comfortable you are with your man during sexual activity, the better and more fulfilling the sex act will be.
Get yourself to be in an open relationship where you can talk freely about what you want to experience in the bedroom.  Is there a fantasy that you want to try like oral sex? Test the waters and let him know. Don’t  talk down on your yourself and do ask your body if it will be fun for it to have sex, what energy, space and consciousness can it pleasure sexually? You will be shocked at the response your body will give to you.
On the average, a couple’s sex life improves rapidly after the knot has been tied. To achieve this, you have to throw some changes into your night life; from time to time, get to know each other’s hot spots, slow down on sex in order to find out. If your man is receptive, your body will cooperate with him in bed.
Praising her most guarded body parts such as her thighs, butt, waist, breast, stomach and lips, can be more important to your sexual satisfaction especially as women spend most of their time trying to look sexy for their men. All these should happen outside the bedroom before the act.
On a final note, healthy couples should share information about their likes and dislikes. You don’t have to spend the  whole time talking about sex. Women get intimacy from talking when she does not feel pressured to make love right away. What you wear to bed at night matters a lot and try not to have sex in the same place, at the same time and in the same position or else, it will take out the spark and dull the relationship. Always strive to come up with new ways of satisfying your partner and know that you are responsible for  yourself as a sexual being. It is not the responsibility of your partner to make you desirous, feel comfortable to assert your sexual rights, as the essence of sexuality is in giving and receiving pleasures. So,  fix your attention on pleasures rather than on performance as this is inseparable right for the couple.