It was the first week in February, about two weeks to Valentine’s Day. I looked forward to having a great date with so much excitement.

Why not? I had a boyfriend. So, I was no longer in the club of those who had no plans for Valentine. I had also started thinking of the gifts – cake, flowers and mystery gift (that I was going to receive). It was going to be a great Valentine Day…Or, so I thought.

My then boyfriend suddenly approached me looking very worried. When I asked what was wrong, he said his mother was ill…very ill and he had to go see her. My reaction was swift and I exclaimed, ”Mummy is ill? Oh my God! Did I mention I had never met her? But she was mummy ke? After all, she is my prospective mother-in-law (MIL)… So I thought…again

It was two weeks to Valentine’s day and a rough calculation showed that no matter how long boyfriend travelled for, he will definitely be back before the day. After all, who travels home from school for weeks? Then, boyfriend made an unusual request – he needed a loan. He had run out of cash and would need some money to make a quick dash home to see his ailing mum. So, having played on my compassionate side, (I am not one to give any guy money),.. I gave him the money he requested and wished him a safe trip.

A few days to Valentine’s Day and he still hadn’t returned. I began to hope that he planned to show up on the day with all the gifts and declaration of love for me. Well, the day came and I waited and waited and nothing! I saw people receiving gifts, going on dates etc. But, mine never came.

As the evening approached, I had a girlfriend come in with hot gist. Apparently, she was coming from a room where my supposed boyfriend had just delivered the card, cake and bouquet of flowers to another girl! Clearly, the nuisance used my money. I was livid! I ignored the girl – I have no business with her. The person that I was about to end any unfinished business with was my deceptive liar boyfriend.

I waited till he showed up and tried to deliver another set of lies (he had no idea I was in the know) before demanding my money, which he gave me. (I didn’t care where he got the money from). Come to think of it, perhaps the bloody liar doesn’t even have a mother! He attempted to apologise and I could have taken him back but it was too much of a deception for me to get over. That was the end of that relationship. Thank God, I got rid of him.

I remembered this story when I thought about post-Valentine actions. I am positive a lot of people can resonate with this story. You know what your experience was on Valentine’s Day, you decide what actions to take. If someone goes through great lengths to deceive you, then perhaps you don’t need that person in your life, except you want to live a life of grief.

In every relationship (married or single), be truthful. Don’t be deceitful. Your partner deserves the truth. It may hurt for a while, but it’s still the truth. Liars get found out anyway. If you value your relationship, never forget that DECEPTION RUINS A RELATIONSHIP!

Tinuola Agbabiaka
Certified Relationship Counsellor & Professional Therapeutic Counselor
[email protected]