Dear Adesuwa,

What’s the essence of penetration if I only get to catch orgasm from foreplay? 

Judith, Port Harcourt.

Dear Judith,

Foreplay is considered as that sexual activity before intercourse and sex, does not need to be the grand finale on the sex menu if you don’t want it to be. 

A powerful foreplay can be pretty hot if done right, as it triggers physiological and physical responses that make sexual activity possible and enjoyable. Foreplay can hold its own and be all that you need to reach orgasm especially, as research has long shown that most women don’t orgasm with intercourse alone. With mutual understanding, foreplay can be and include anything you want.

Dear Adesuwa,

I have followed you on this column but l have a challenge with my sex life; quick release. What’s the solution? 

Ahmed, Abuja.

Dear Ahmed,

The pause-technique may help treat premature ejaculation; by letting arousal dwindle before climax. When you feel the need to ejaculate, pause and have your lover squeeze/stimulate the end of your manhood where the head joins the shaft. Let her hold it for a few seconds or minutes until the feeling passes and you no longer want to release.

Start the stimulation again and repeat three to four more times before you ejaculate. Also, try wearing condoms which can also help reduce early release.

Dear Adesuwa,

Is semen good for a woman’s body because I always rush to douche after sex? 

Clara, Lagos.

Dear Clara,

To start with, douching after love making is not encouraged; just use water only to wash.

To your question; Semen acts as an antidepressant. Ladies who have sex without condoms, have fewer signs of depression than women who used condoms or abstained from sex.

Dear Adesuwa,

Is there any way or option about increasing the size of the Penis? 

Osasu, Benin.

Dear Osasu,

It’s common for guys to want a bigger penis because they feel bigger is better.  Penis enlargement surgery is one option.  It is  expensive, painful and risky [the veins can get damage]. Alternative options may include; penis enlargement pills and penis stretching. These options are not backed with any evidence that will reassure you that they will do as they claim. Even though there’s a huge variety of so-called penis enlargement pills available online, the short answer is NO. There is really not a pill that will make your manhood bigger; remember that your sexual partner may probably care less about your size. At the end of the day, your ability to satisfy each other sexually is much more important than how you are packing downstairs.

Dear Adesuwa,

Do virgins bleed on their wedding night? I’m newly married but my bride did not bleed after we had intercourse, why is this so? I need some clarification in order not to go crazy. 

Emekus, Delta.

Dear Emekus,

It is normal to have bleeding the first time you indulge in sex but it is also normal not to bleed. Vaginas have thin tissue that stretches across part of the opening called a hymen. This can get stretched openand cause pain or bleeding. Also, hymen can naturally stretch from stuff like sports, tampons, or putting a finger/other objects into your vagina including the fact, that some are born with a very little hymenal tissue, almost like they don’t have at all. 

Virginity can be a very confusing matter but, there’s no reason to feel weird or ashamed if you don’t bleed the first time you had vaginal sex. So, whether your wife bled the first time  you had sex or not, she’s completely normal.

Dear Adesuwa,

Are you even married? Your every Sexmatics ‘tips’ is alarming. 

Oscar, Delta

Dear Oscar,

 Yes, I am married and it is one of the  reasons for the “alarming” tips.