By Adesuwa Ewoigbokhan

Last week, I shared the story of Eghosa and Osaro and how Eghosa’s past trauma was affecting their relationship and the effort they made to seek help.

Osaro became more understanding and patient. He sought the help of a sex therapist, and together, they began to navigate the complex landscape of trauma and intimacy.
The therapist helped them communicate more effectively, and Osaro learned to respect Eghosa’s triggers.

As the months passed, their marriage began to flourish once more. Eghosa slowly opened up about her feelings, and Osaro listened without judgment. They scheduled intimate moments, ensuring that Eghosa felt safe and comfortable. They engaged in romantic activities that didn’t lead to intercourse, rebuilding their connection and trust.
The weight of silence lifted, replaced by a deep understanding and empathy for each other. Eghosa and Osaro’s love grew stronger as they worked through their issues and rebuilt their relationship.

They learned that healing was possible, and taking the first step towards recovery was a powerful move towards rebuilding their marriage.

Sexual trauma can have a profound impact on a marriage as victims often struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, and self-doubt.
They may push their spouses away, fearing intimacy or believing that they’re undeserving of love. The trauma can distort their view of themselves and others, leading to paranoia and false accusations.

In marriage, sexual trauma can manifest in various ways:

• Victims may feel like their bodies are not their own, leading to defenseless feelings and a sense of powerlessness.
• They may over-sexualise innocent behaviours, viewing them as threatening or inappropriate.
• They may exhibit anxiety symptoms, such as flashbacks or hypervigilance, during intimate moments.
• They may struggle to express their feelings or needs, fearing rejection or judgment.
  Healing requires effort and commitment from both partners.
  Here are some practical tips that helped them:
• Awareness: Acknowledge the trauma and its impact on your relationship.
• Open communication- Share your feelings and needs with your spouse.
• Journaling: Write down your thoughts and emotions to process and release them.
• Scheduled intimacy- Plan intimate moments to ensure comfort and consent.
• Romantic activities- Engage in non-sexual activities that foster connection and trust.
• Listening without judgment- Create a safe space for your partner to express themselves.
  By working together and seeking professional help, couples can overcome the effects of sexual trauma and build a stronger, more loving relationship!